"it’s from people I want to feel understood by.”
An Indian student studying in the United States has ignited a viral conversation after revealing she was repeatedly offered a Green Card on dates, often by men from her own community.
The 21-year-old university student shared her experience on Reddit.
She said: “I’ve gone on dates/conversed with people from all sorts of backgrounds… somehow the only time I’ve ever been offered a Green Card as a way to flirt has been by Punjabi guys.”
Her frustration highlights a troubling trend in diasporic dating culture, where immigration status is treated like a pickup line.
She continued: “We’ll be ten minutes into a convo and boom, ‘You know I could get you a green card, right?’”
The Green Card, formally known as a Permanent Resident Card, grants long-term residency in the US, offering stability, job flexibility, and a path to citizenship.
But when reduced to a bargaining chip in dating, its symbolism changes.
The young woman continued: “It’s not even just awkward anymore.
“It feels dehumanising… It turns something that could have been meaningful into something transactional.
“It hurts more because it’s from people I want to feel understood by.”
Calling for more empathy in these interactions, she said:
“I’m not trying to call anyone out. I just wish there was more self-respect on both sides. More identity.”
Her post quickly gained traction, drawing hundreds of responses.
One person said: “I brushed it off as a one-off… didn’t realise how rampant this was until I discussed it with a few other friends.”
Another recalled a job interview experience in the US while on an F1 student visa:
“A recruiter flippantly told them to ‘just marry a citizen’.”
They replied: “Marriage isn’t a transaction. At least for me.”
Others shared more pragmatic views as one person explained:
“As a H1-B who is waiting in the US for a Green card since 2006… the wait for a Green card is 150+ years.
“Of course you should marry for love… but don’t rule anything out especially if you are on F1 or non-immigrant status.”
Still, some tied the behaviour to cultural issues beyond immigration.
A Reddit user said: “There’s a tendency [among Punjabis] to flaunt anything ‘material’ – money, connections, immigration status.”
They added that women are still often viewed as needing to be “provided for”.
The student may not have intended to start a movement.
But by speaking out, she has forced a public reckoning with the unspoken costs of immigrant life and the ways they shape love, belonging, and self-worth.
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