A woman who survived honour-based violence and was coerced into entering a forced marriage has revealed that she felt “she had to get out of the situation if she wanted to stay alive”.
July 14 marks the National Day of Remembrance for Victims of Honour-Based Abuse and Forced Marriage.
The woman spoke to Nottinghamshire Police about her experiences as part of a week of action in memory of Shafilea Ahmed who was murdered by her parents in an honour-based killing in Warrington in 2003.
The woman was told by a relative that she had to marry if she wanted to move to England to pursue further education.
She entered a forced marriage and endured years in an abusive relationship before eventually finding the courage to leave.
The woman said: “I attempted to leave the relationship a number of times because I realised all my autonomy had been taken away and it was making me unwell.
“However, when I tried to escape, a family member of the perpetrator said if I left that I would bring shame upon the family and wouldn’t ever find happiness so I didn’t feel like I could speak up.”
She now dedicates herself to using her lived experience to educate people about honour-based abuse.
Since her forced marriage, she added: “Even if I have just five years to live after escaping my situation, I am happy that I am able to live my life on my own terms.”
Karma Nirvana holds a day of memory on July 14 every year to remember those who have lost their lives.
The charity, who work alongside Nottinghamshire Police, hosts an awareness week between July 8 and 14 each year to increase the understanding of honour-based abuse and empower survivors to get the help they need.
Nottinghamshire Police works closely with Karma Nirvana to train officers so that they are equipped to deal with honour-based abuse and can best safeguard victims.
Officers with this training understand the cultural sensitivities around honour-based abuse offences such as forced marriage and Female Genital Mutilation (FGM).
Signs of Forced Marriage
- Running away from home
- Self-harming or attempted suicide
- Depression or becoming worried or withdrawn
- Poor performance at school/college or unexplained absence
- A surprise engagement to a stranger
- A sudden holiday abroad
- No control over their own money
- Not returning from a visit to another country
- Deliberately failing exams so that they can stay on in education
Signs FGM might Happen
- A relative or someone known as a ‘cutter’ visiting from abroad
- Discussions about an upcoming ceremony or special occasion where a girl ‘becomes a woman’
- A female relative like a mother, aunt or sister has undergone FGM
- A family arranges a long holiday overseas or visits a family abroad during the summer holidays
- A girl has an unexpected or long absence from school, or struggles to keep up in school
- A girl runs away or plans to run away from home
Signs FGM might have taken Place
- Health issues – complaints about difficulty walking, sitting or frequent urinary or menstrual problems
- Behavioural changes – sudden changes in behaviour, such as appearing quiet, anxious or depressed
- Acting differently after an absence from school or college
- Reluctance to go to the doctors or have routine medical examinations
- Asking for help – though they might not be explicit about the problem because they’re scared or embarrassed
Loading ...