"We've been serving my brother's sentence with him."
Arrest and imprisonment impact more than just the person serving time.
The prisoner’s family can face significant emotional, practical and financial consequences.
Indeed, prisoner families can endure emotional upheaval, financial instability, confusion, shame and stigma as they are forced to live a new reality.
Yet prisoner families from British South Asian groups remain hidden. Often forgotten and isolated as they navigate the criminal justice system (CJS), support their loved ones in prison and deal with a new reality.
The Ministry of Justice (MOJ) maintain that ethnic minority groups are over-represented at various stages of the CJS, in comparison to their White counterparts.
In 2023, approximately 6,840 male prisoners identified as Asian or British Asian in England and Wales.
Furthermore, government data shows Asian males make up 8% of the sentenced prison population and 10% of the remand population.
Asian individuals are 55% more likely to receive a custodial sentence, even when factoring in higher not-guilty plea rates.
In contrast, the female prison estate is much smaller. Women make up only 4% of the prison population.
Nevertheless, there are South Asian women in British prisons. In 2024, approximately 100 women in prisons in England and Wales identify as South Asian.
Consequently, the number of British Desi households impacted by having a family member imprisoned is not small.
However, the voices of British South Asian prisoner families are rarely heard. The impact of arrest and imprisonment on families and why it matters not in mainstream discussions.
Here, DESIblitz explores the experiences of British Desi prisoner families and their position as silent victims on the outside.
The Silent Victims on the Outside?
Research over the years has highlighted that the family is the ‘golden thread’ to rehabilitation and the key to reducing reoffending.
Therefore, identifying prisoner families as silent victims is one way of signalling that they need vital support navigating the CJS and their new realities.
Victims include those affected emotionally, psychologically, financially, or physically by crime. Families of prisoners often face emotional, psychological, social and financial impacts.
Mobeen Khan*, a 47-year-old British Pakistani, saw her son arrested and remanded for three offences, including kidnapping and assault.
For Mobeen, the impact on families when someone is arrested and imprisoned cannot be underestimated:
“It’s trauma. When someone is just removed, it’s a big shock to the whole family. It shakes things.”
Miriam Ali* is a 30-year-old British Pakistani/Bangladeshi who shared her family’s experiences.
Everyone was shocked when Miriam’s 24-year-old “baby brother” Ahmed* was imprisoned for drug-related offences.
Miriam explains: “He was the brother we didn’t worry about.
“When my dad got sick, and the family business struggled, I don’t know why he thought this was a good short-term solution to helping. Who he listened to, I don’t know.
“We all told him everything would be fine. Our eldest brothers had a plan, and it did work.
“What went through his head, I don’t know. But it shattered things for all of us. Since then it’s been different levels of hell. We’ve been serving my brother’s sentence with him.
“My dad’s health got worse, mum closed up and refused to go out in shame, my kids were confused. And our dreams for him… dust.”
Miriam’s words highlight the profound struggles her family has faced since Ahmed’s arrest and imprisonment.
It has also significantly affected the children in the family as well.
Children as the ‘Hidden Victims’
Those providing frontline support, like the Charity Children Heard and Seen, refer to children impacted by arrest and imprisonment as the hidden victims, serving a hidden sentence.
Research like that by Murray and Farrington (2005), found that prisoner children were at greater risk of poor school attainment and mental health issues compared to their peers.
The impact of imprisonment of a parent/loved one on a child can be severe and multifaceted, affecting their emotional, social, and educational well-being.
Khalid Shah*, a 25-year-old British Bangladeshi, remembers his dad being in prison:
“At ten, my dad just disappeared. He wasn’t home anymore; the person I looked up to and kept us all safe vanished.
“He was my hero, my best friend. I did everything with him. Lost who I was.
“No one to protect us is what I thought.”
Khalid’s words highlight how a parent’s imprisonment can affect a child’s sense of self and safety.
When a parent is imprisoned, children can also take on significant adult responsibilities and emotional burdens.
Indeed, this was true for Ruby Deol*, a 20-year-old British Indian:
“When my mum got locked up, everything changed. Dad had no idea what to do. I had to help.
“Our grandmother and aunties tried to take over. They wanted no one to know. We hid the truth and didn’t talk about it.
“Plus, my brother thought mum went away for work… yeah, they thought lying was best.”
The Emotional Seesaw: Guilt, Pain, Sadness & Confusion
From the onset of arrest and across sentencing, imprisonment and then release, South Asian prisoner families experience a seesaw of emotions.
Reflecting on her only son going to prison at 23 years old, single parent Mobeen Khan said:
“As a parent, I felt I had failed my son. I blamed myself. I felt that I did something wrong, that’s why he’s gone to prison.
“I was like a zombie at home when he first went to prison. Couldn’t go out. My anxiety got worse.”
Mobeen’s long-term clinical depression, which her son helped her manage, was worsened by his imprisonment.
They were a tight unit. Thus, Mobeen found it difficult to adjust to the drastic change she had no time to prepare for.
Mobeen was delighted when her son was released, but she found things did not just go back to normal. Her son frequently lashed out at her verbally as he struggled to reintegrate.
The arrest and imprisonment of a loved one can cause significant emotional and psychological strain and tension.
Indeed, the impact on other interpersonal/familial relationships cannot be ignored.
Consider the words of Javed Khan*, a 48-year-old British Pakistani. He recalled the tension between him and his wife when their two sons were arrested:
“When the cops came and took the boys, we were shocked, ashamed and furious.
“I blamed my wife, and she blamed me, not because it was our fault, but we were lost. We never thought we’d be parents with kids on the wrong side.
“One kid is a lawyer, and then this! We couldn’t understand where we went wrong, what we missed.”
Javed’s and Mobeen’s reflections highlight how parents blame themselves for the actions of their children.
Such internalised parental blame, in turn, reflects judgements that can emerge within communities.
Communities can deem parents culpable for the actions of their children, even after children reach adulthood.
Gender Dynamics & Prisoner Families
Within families, it is often women – the mother, wife, sister, or aunt – who undertake significant emotional labour when a loved one is arrested and imprisoned.
Consequently, gender dynamics play a crucial role in these situations.
Tahmeena Bi*, a 25-year-old British Pakistani, reflects on her father’s arrest and imprisonment:
“It’s disgusting; when the cops first came, all my uncles and older brother told my mum and auntie to keep out of it.
“It was the same with the court case; apparently, the women didn’t need to be involved. They were forbidden from going.
“Then when he went to prison, everything fell on mum and my auntie.
“Yeah, my brother and uncles helped with money, but mum dealt with the fallout at home.”
“She had to handle me and my baby brother being confused and upset. She managed our day-to-day lives.
“My auntie had to deal with my grandparents. My gran got more ill because of my dad and the shock.”
Desi women take on significant emotional labour and practical responsibilities, supporting the entire family. People often overlook this work, but it is vital for maintaining family bonds and the home.
Women face considerable pressure when coping with their loved ones being imprisoned. They handle childcare, housework, family duties (like looking after parents/in-laws), working and paying the bills.
They simultaneously provide emotional, practical and financial support to the person in prison.
Community Judgement & Stigma for Prisoner Families
Families can experience significant stigma, shame and judgment from the community, resulting in a sense of isolation.
Additionally, feelings of culturally associated dishonour can emerge.
These begin to manifest with the arrest and continue throughout remand, bail, imprisonment, and post-release.
This was the case with Simran Bhayat*, a 48-year-old British Indian Gujarati.
She felt heavily watched and judged by her neighbours and the wider community after her husband and son were arrested:
“I could feel the neighbours’ curtains twitching as they hoped for more drama.
“For so long, going out made me self-conscious; I just wanted to hide at home.”
Similarly, Asha Begum*, a 35-year-old British Bangladeshi, recalls when her father and brother were arrested for tax-related offences in 2017:
“It was the Asians, other Bengalis, who were the worst. The White and Black neighbours weren’t bothered.”
“Even after my brother was found not guilty and my dad served his sentence, we are still marked by the community.
“I see it in how families act when they come for rishta talks. They look down on us.”
In turn, in the Desi community, there is often an automatic, highly gendered assumption that the imprisoned family member is always a male.
However, Desi women are also arrested and imprisoned, albeit in smaller numbers.
People often attach greater stigma to a woman being arrested and imprisoned.
Ruby Deol’s words reflect this reality:
“If it had been dad locked up, no way the family would have been so panicked about the rest of the community finding out.
“I have a cousin, male obviously, and everyone knows he was locked up more than once. And he went in longer than mum.”
The gender stereotyping and harsh critique of imprisoned Desi women leads to further secrecy and a sense of shame.
Financial Strain on Prisoner Families
Families often face significant financial strain when a loved one is imprisoned. This happens for two key reasons:
- The imprisoned person was the sole or primary breadwinner.
- The household now has the added burden of financially supporting the imprisoned person.
Where a man is imprisoned, the women – mostly partners, wives and mothers take the traditionally male role of the breadwinner.
Consider the words of Simran Bhayat:
“When my husband and son went away, we went from a two-income household to one. And I wasn’t working full time because of our younger kids.
“It was a nightmare. I’d never been on benefits, but that changed. I had no choice.
“My son or husband drove me everywhere before, and learning the bus routes and taking the kids, I hated it.”
Entire lives become destabilised. Those on the outside often must learn new skills and take on responsibilities and pressures they never expected to face.
For Simran, she never thought she would have to apply for benefits to support her family.
Moreover, Simran went on to say:
“Add to that, I had to send my husband and son money so they could get things in prison. Then getting kids to visits at two different prisons. Living nightmare at the start.
“Things had to be sold, and I still have to be very careful in my budgeting.
“Yes, I have family I could get help from, but they’re struggling too. And I didn’t want to owe anyone anything.”
When the primary or sole breadwinner is arrested and imprisoned, families face tremendous stress and anxiety.
Furthermore, the cost of transport to visit a loved one in prison also creates, sustains and deepens financial difficulties.
Families can be plunged into debt whilst trying to maintain consistent contact with a loved one in prison.
Struggles with Understanding the Criminal Justice System
Families often navigate unfamiliar territory when it comes to the CJS, prison procedures and criminal law.
Consequently, they feel a significant degree of uncertainty and confusion, with no idea where to start and what to do.
Moreover, this uncertainty can be exacerbated by barriers that Desi families face.
Razia Hadait MBE, founder and CEO of the non-profit organisation Himaya Haven CIC, stresses:
“There can be language barriers and mistrust that impact families’ understanding the CJS and what to do.”
When Asha Begum’s father and brother were on trial, her father “forbade” her from attending court. However, she went anyway, determined to remove her “ignorance and lack of knowledge”.
Reflecting on her experiences, Asha states:
“You have to know how to play the game. Being innocent isn’t enough; we saw that with my brother.
“His case should have never gone to trial. The jury saw that, everyone’s time was wasted.
“You cannot trust the system. Law and justice are not the same thing.”
For Asha, there is a deep-seated mistrust of the CJS, which she feels is biased:
“There’s enough research out there showing Asian and Black men get harsher sentences. It’s not me just being angry”.
Simran Bhayat recalls her initial experience when her son and husband were arrested and in prison awaiting sentencing:
“I’d never had contact with the police, prisons and courts before.
“And because both were adults, the police legally couldn’t tell me anything when they arrested them.
“It was a new, scary world for me, and so much was going on, I didn’t have time to stop and process.
“I needed someone to walk me through the process, help me understand what to expect. None of that happened.”
As is the case for many families, Simran’s lack of understanding of the CJS and what to expect made the entire experience much harder.
Prisoner Families need Access to Support & Guidance
The police, CJS, non-profit organisations, and government bodies undertake important work supporting prisoners and their families to varying degrees.
Nevertheless, research and conversations with those from the third sector indicate there are gaps.
Such gaps can make the process of navigating the CJS extremely difficult, cause severe stress, and put strain on relationships.
As Professor Nancy Loucks OBE, CEO of the Scottish Charity Families Outside, maintains:
“Imprisonment fractures families, yet we have failed time and again to repair those fractures through strengthening support for family ties […]”
Moreover, as Razia Hadait, MBE stresses:
“These families face significant anxiety, stress, mental health concerns, and financial/income-related issues.
“Families feel a loss, like someone has died in their family, at the beginning.”
The need for culturally nuanced support is one reason Razia set up her organisation, Himaya Haven CIC, in 2017. She recognised the gaping hole in supporting families with loved ones in custody and prison.
Like many on the frontline, Razia asserts that it is vital that prisoner families are taken out of the shadows.
Reports and research continuously stress that the ‘family is the golden thread’ playing a vital role in reducing reoffending.
Moreover, families matter when it comes to those released from prison successfully reintegrating back into society.
Accordingly, it is vital that prisoner families can access support that helps them thrive. Greater cross-sector engagement and collaboration are needed for this to occur.
Furthermore, information on key resources and organisations that can help, must be highlighted to prisoner families sooner.
Indeed, if this were to occur during the early stages of their engagement with the CJS, a significant amount of trauma, isolation, and confusion could be avoided.
Overall, it is apparent that when a person enters the wrong side of the CJS, the lives of their loved ones outside are heavily affected in multifaceted ways.
Consequently, prisoner families are the silent victims on the outside.
Organisations to Help Prisoner Families
There are specialist non-profit organisations that work to help prisoner families with emotional and practical issues.
Such organisations also provide guidance, advice and signposting to ensure families have all the facts to help them.
Here are links to organisations in Britain that can provide essential support to prisoner families:
- Himaya Haven CIC
- Prisoners’ Families Helpline
- Children Heard and Seen
- Prisoner Advice and Care Trust (PACT)
- Partners of Prisoners (POPS)
- The Ebb Leicester (Leicestershire)
- Families on the Outside (Scotland)
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