Viral Tweets claim ‘Children Don’t Owe Their Parents’

A Twitter thread questioning “Do children owe their parents?” is causing controversy and gaining a lot of attention on the internet.

The question was shared by a user named Valia and featured a detailed explanation of her thoughts.

Valia clarified that she had a “fairly healthy relationship with her incredibly loving and understanding parents” but her answer to the question was still a “no”.

She provides a detailed explanation in the Twitter thread.

Do children owe their parents?

This is something I have given deep thought to, and as someone who has a fairly healthy relationship with my incredibly loving and understanding parents, the answer is no.

Here's a thread why.

— Valia (@Vaishnavioffl) December 27, 2022

The Twitter thread begins:

“Do children owe their parents?

“This is something I have given deep thought to, and as someone who has a fairly healthy relationship with my incredibly loving and understanding parents, the answer is no.

“Here’s a thread why.”

Beginning the thread, Valia framed a set of questions and answered them one by one.

According to Valia, children don’t owe their parents anything because they birthed them.

Do you owe them because they birthed you?

Purely based in the nature of the relationship, no. They chose to have you – for whatever reason. No child asked to be born. There is nothing to reciprocate here and therefore, you do not owe them

— Valia (@Vaishnavioffl) December 27, 2022

The parents chose to have children and no one asked to be born.

Moreover, providing for basic needs such as food, shelter, clothing, and education is a bare minimum because they chose to have children.

Do you owe them because they spent money on your education and providing for you into adulthood?

Again, no. They chose to have you, and providing basic needs like food, shelter, clothing, education is a bare minimum. It is their duty to fund your basic needs because they had you

— Valia (@Vaishnavioffl) December 27, 2022

Valia also claimed that parents don’t owe anything to their children either and that love is not transactional.

She also shared an article written by E B Johnson titled, “You don’t owe your parents anything” and quoted some excerpts.

On toxic parents he also says

"While many of them like to remind us they are responsible for the gift of life, the real question is, what kind of gift is that when you’re constantly being emotionally battered and shamed? "

Feels so familiar no?

— Valia (@Vaishnavioffl) December 27, 2022

Talking about herself, Valia said that she doesn’t owe anything to her parents because she was never made to believe that her existence was in any way an investment in their security during old age.

Concluding the thread, Valia said that love is not transactional while pressing on the claim again:

“Just want to leave this here with a reminder that love is not transactional.

“I do what I do for my parents because I love them, not to repay them.

“And that’s how it should be.”

The thread started a discussion online and Twitter users had mixed reactions to it. Many users commented in support of Valia with one saying:

“There’s a difference between gratitude and entitlement both ways!”

“As long as parents and kids think it’s gratitude, the relationship is beautiful. When everyone thinks they are entitled, trouble starts.”

However, some users disagreed with the sentiments against owing parents. One user commented:

“They (parents) are my treasure. I will lay my life for them if I have to.”

Another expressed:

“If you think so then I feel sorry for you and nothing else.

“Maybe your parents did provide everything for you and are ok then who are we to question but I’m indebted to my parents my whole life.

“Every minute I think of how I give them a good life after all their struggles.”