They also tend to get profound in ways that even the most messed up human could not imagine.
As long as there have been blogs and insomniacs online, Night Blogging has existed. And the phenomenon has brought about some of the most profound and the weirdest thoughts out there.
Urban dictionary refers to ‘night blogging’ as a time when people will ‘blog strange things, sometimes deep yet completely messed up, sometimes utterly meaningless, sometimes gifs of stupid things, and sometimes bloggers will even go as far as to question the existence of humanity in those few strange hours’.
Night blogging commonly happens on popular blogging sites like Tumblr, and as a result these ‘stoner-like’ epiphanies have circulated to other platforms on social media like Twitter and Facebook.
These late night ramblings can be traced back to 2008, with the original night blog from a blogger called ‘hayleeey’, however whether it is the first of its kind is debatable.
Since these posts are downright hilarious, and in some cases make us question our entire existence, DESIblitz explores the funniest and more profound night blogs out there.
Now night blogging can and has been generalised for many, but in all fairness they can be split into different sections. The food ones in particular can get quite dark.
Food Related Night Blogging
If you haven’t got any experience blogging at night time, then a food section may seem weird. However at night time, people get hungry, they also tend to get profound in ways that even the most messed up human could not imagine:
In some cases these thoughts do tend to actually get you thinking, and honestly, the human mind is kind of amazing because of this:
Then there are the posts that start off really interesting and then take a very dark, almost apocalyptic twist:
Body Related Night Blogging
The night blogger’s natural habitat is usually their bed and a blanket, and in some cases during their profound thoughts they look to their body for inspiration.
Some range from: “Do you ever think about how fucking weird it is to have a bunch of bones in your mouth just hanging out. Like they just grew out of your gums into this weird slimy cavity on you’re face and they’re like – hey.”
Then there are the posts that make you wonder if you should send them a private inbox message, just to check and see if everything’s alright with the blogger:
And there are also just the plain innocently weird posts:
“What if eyebrows don’t know when to stop growing and there are little eyebrow fairies that come to us in our sleep and keep them nice and trimmed each night and we don’t know because we are sleeping.”
In some cases, these people need to be stopped, ASAP, or they will do something stupid:
The Epiphanies
Sometimes at night time you get the most life changing thoughts, or epiphanies, that will make you realise something grand and life changing. In this case it is life changing but for different reasons.
Some of these epiphanies will change the way you look at many many things.
Thoughts can vary like: “Why aren’t oven mitts called glovens?”
“How weird would it be if whales didn’t need to live in the ocean and they just dragged themselves along the ground and we had to deal with whales just meandering around everywhere.”
“What if the voice in your head is actually the voice of your skeleton trying to communicate with you?”
“What if those bruises you wake up with at night not knowing how they got there are your dead ancestors whacking your dumb ass because you did something stupid.”
Night blogging isn’t always profound or poetic, in most cases it’s just plain weird. Tumblr is host to many of these strange thoughts that will make you question humanity.
In some cases you can’t fault their trail of thoughts, because they’re true:
Naturally there is every blogger’s guilty pleasure – because let’s face it, we spend more time on our laptops and computers than with actual people.
The Internet is truly a dark and magical place, and these posts are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the wonderful world of night blogging.
There are also many blogs dedicated to cataloguing all of these posts, to ensure that there is always a place where people can find them, and also possibly to confuse future historians in a few hundred years time.
It is safe to say that using the Internet after dark isn’t solely associated with porn anymore, instead it is made up of the weirdest communities of people imagining and sharing the strangest thoughts to ever exist.
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