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  • Free and Single But Please no Jingles!

    Free and single, ready to mingle but please…No jingles!! It’s Friday evening and the weekend mood is in the air. People are getting ready to let themselves loose on the dance floor! Yes, this is the new section of free-minded Desi youth. They are free, single and ready to mingle. However, here comes the zenith […]

    Free and single, ready to mingle but please…No jingles!!

    It’s Friday evening and the weekend mood is in the air. People are getting ready to let themselves loose on the dance floor! Yes, this is the new section of free-minded Desi youth. They are free, single and ready to mingle. However, here comes the zenith – they stop at the mingling. This is indeed the new mantra – it’s okay to mingle but please… no commitment.

    What is it that is driving people away from commitment? Why are people apprehensive about this “shaadi ka ladoo”? Or is this just a passing phase? In this age of busy lives, techno-worlds, independence, higher incomes, more choice and not thinking about more permanent relationships until much later in life, the question arises of what shape or form does commitment take nowadays?

    Many do not want to go through a monotonous routine of accommodating the another persons needs after the strenuous day at the work whilst others do not want a question mark on his or her freedom or space. Besides, if one is happy and having fun without the commitment, why is there need to simply take the plunge many say. Earlier, a sense of security and companionship used to be the prime reason for marriage and so called ‘settling down.’ However, the independent and financially secure individuals do not have to bother about that anymore and many argue the case of soaring divorce figures amongst apna communities as another reason not to get deeply involved early. So, this probably means we are heading for relationships with an easier exit than expensive court settlements.

    A word of caution though… How long will this last is the million-dollar question. If this continues, the transition will begin to impact and affect the very fabric of South Asian life, culture and heritage that has been protected through so many years in line with tradition and religions.

    Despite the work, busy occupations, surfing, emails, texts and lots of nightlife, are the pangs for that special someone no longer a desire? Is it perhaps that the goal of finding someone long term is now not a priority and that everyone in this mode is simply not looking for commitment at this stage in their lives.

    The growth of Desi matrimonial and love websites has also introduced new avenues to find someone. The question here is that are these being used to meet and leave or will they really assist and not put people off finding that someone special or reduce their chances of finding real commitment.

    Ironically, the grass on the other side always seems to be green. Many married ones feel they would be happier if single, while the single ones who are nearing the late thirties and forties have a diametrically opposite opinion.

    Based in Punjab, India, Ivneet likes to share the cross-cultural changes taking place in India as compared to the West. She enjoys reading and selectively writes about particular aspects of Indian life as seen and experienced by her.

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