"With ghosting, you might be able to resume things."
Romantic rejection can leave deep scars, but new research suggests that not all rejections feel the same.
A study published in Computers in Human Behaviour compared the emotional effects of being dumped to being ghosted.
Participants believed they were part of a project about online interactions, spending six days chatting with partners.
What they didn’t realise was that some partners were actually researchers.
By the fourth day, these researchers either stopped replying, ended the conversation directly, or carried on as normal.
Those who were ghosted or dumped reported more rejection, exclusion, and guilt compared to those who continued chatting.
DESIblitz spoke to British Asians to hear their perspectives on which hurts more, ghosting or being dumped.
Nina told us: “Both are rubbish, but for me, it’s ghosting, hands down. When you’re dumped, at least you get some kind of closure.
“Obviously, it hurts, but you know where you stand. Ghosting just leaves you in this awkward limbo.
“You’re wondering what you did wrong, if they’re okay, and if you imagined everything.
“Have the decency to just say it’s not going anywhere and you’ll save everyone time.”
Why Ghosting Cuts Deeper
Although both groups felt hurt, ghosting appeared to leave the most lasting wound.
Being dumped caused immediate sadness and self-blame, but closure helped participants move on more quickly.
Ghosting, however, kept people trapped in confusion, wondering what went wrong.
This uncertainty prolonged feelings of invisibility and rejection, leaving the pain to linger far longer.
For many South Asians, the silence of ghosting can be particularly heavy.
Dating already exists alongside cultural expectations around family and reputation, and disappearing without explanation can fuel shame and self-doubt in ways rejection with words does not.
Mandeep explained: “I think everyone, in this day and age, has gone through both, and while neither is ideal, I’d say being dumped is more painful.
“Ghosting leaves you with questions, and it’s a lame way to treat someone.”
“But often, if someone ghosts you, it suggests a certain immaturity or lack of courage on their part, and ultimately, you don’t want to be with someone like that, so it ends up being a bit of a wake-up call.
“Being dumped, especially from a long-term relationship, is a lot more serious, and it’s something that can take a while and a lot of conversations and even reconciliation before fully making that decision to leave.
“Obviously, ghosting happens online, in the DMs, so I think some people just feel indifferent in that sense, like they don’t see a real person on the other end, so they don’t understand the impact it can have.
“You can move on from being ghosted, but a break-up is different.
“Some people have such a bad experience that they can’t see themselves being in a serious couple again.”
South Asian Perspectives on Closure
Among British Asians, especially, ghosting carries an additional weight.
Within tight-knit communities, vanishing from someone’s life can lead to awkward encounters, gossip, and fractured friendship circles.
Being dumped at least allows individuals to process rejection with dignity.
The study itself cannot fully capture the impact of real-world ghosting, which often happens after weeks or months of dating.
Still, it highlights why closure matters so deeply.
Conversations, however uncomfortable, show respect and allow healing to begin.
In the South Asian context, where cultural pressures already intensify heartbreak, clarity becomes not just kinder but essential for moving forward.
Jaspreet shared: “I think it depends on the situation, but for me, being dumped is worse.
“Ghosting is definitely not a nice feeling, especially if it’s someone you started really liking. But when you’re dumped, especially after a serious relationship, it’s a whole different ballgame.
“You’ve invested so much, planned things, integrated them into your family, and then it’s just gone.
“With ghosting, you might be able to resume things, but actually ending a relationship is more of a concrete decision, and it’s trickier to get back together.”
Ghosting may feel like an easy way to avoid confrontation, but it often causes more damage than rejection with words.
The silence stretches pain, leaving people stuck in cycles of doubt and confusion.
Being dumped, while painful, provides clarity that helps wounds heal faster.
For South Asians balancing cultural expectations with modern dating realities, the difference between clarity and silence can feel even more profound.
Ultimately, rejection hurts less when honesty replaces avoidance.
Closure, though difficult, remains far more compassionate than disappearing.
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