Are Extramarital Affairs Increasing in Indian Cities?

Extramarital affairs are increasingly being discussed as part of life in India’s modern cities.

The need to connect with others is a basic part of being human, yet the ways people connect are changing in urban India in ways we have not seen before.

A quiet chat on a crowded train, a glance exchanged in a busy office, or a flirty text sent late at night – these are the seemingly ordinary beginnings of modern affairs.

City life, with its unique mix of privacy and constant opportunities to meet new people, creates the right conditions for relationships to drift outside marriage.

The ever-present phone screen adds another layer, offering both intimacy and concealment, raising new questions about marriage in urban India.

But is this truly a new trend, or are old patterns simply finding new forms?

We explore the complex landscape of Indian relationships today, looking beyond headlines to uncover what is really happening in the country’s cities.

What do the Stats Say?

At first glance, official numbers suggest that marriages in India are stable.

The National Family Health Survey (NFHS) has long shown that India has one of the lowest divorce rates in the world, at around 1%.

But this number is rising, especially in urban areas like Mumbai and Delhi.

And these numbers hide a more complicated truth.

In a culture where social pressure and family honour strongly influence personal choices, many unhappy couples stay together without ever getting a legal divorce.

A very different story comes from the online world.

Dating apps for married people report huge growth in India, offering an interesting, but biased, look into the country’s secret desires.

Gleeden, an app made for extramarital affairs, has called Bengaluru the “infidelity capital” of India.

The tech city has the most users on the app, followed by big cities like Mumbai, Kolkata, New Delhi, and Pune. Surveys from the platform suggest that 55% of married Indians have cheated at least once.

Data from another app, Ashley Madison, adds more to the story.

It shows that cheating is rising in big cities and, surprisingly, in smaller towns too.

Their June 2025 report named Kanchipuram, a Tamil Nadu town known for its temples and silk sarees, as India’s top city for affairs. This was a huge jump from its 17th position the year before.

This shows that cheating, which was once seen as a big-city problem, is now happening in more traditional areas.

Still, the Delhi-National Capital Region (NCR) is a major centre for this activity.

With nine of the top 20 spots for affairs held by Delhi districts and nearby cities like Gurugram, Noida, and Ghaziabad, the area is a clear hotspot.

While these numbers are eye-catching, we have to be careful.

The people using these apps choose to be there and don’t represent the whole population. But they are a strong sign of a growing trend: more married people are looking for connections outside their marriage.

Why Cities & Screens Matter

The modern Indian city is a place where society is changing fast, affecting how people build relationships.

City life in places like Bengaluru or Pune, with long work hours, business trips, and tech-friendly people, greatly increases the number of interactions people have outside their family.

High-pressure work environments in hubs like Gurugram and Noida, where late nights are normal, can create the perfect cover for affairs.

Lavanya said: “Extramarital affairs are increasing rapidly day by day, especially in cities, and it’s most common in the IT sector.

“Almost all my friends who are in the IT sector have extramarital affairs with their colleagues.”

On top of this city lifestyle is the power of technology to change things.

Social media and messaging apps are tools that make modern cheating easier. They offer a low-risk way to start what often begins as an emotional affair.

A simple “like” or a private chat can quickly turn into a deep emotional connection.

Gleeden’s data showed that Bengaluru users were most active between 10 pm and midnight, spending about an hour and a half chatting.

This mix of city freedom and digital privacy has created a new model for relationships, where the rules of loyalty are constantly being tested.

Why are Indian People Cheating?

The reasons people cheat are varied, but some common themes pop up.

A widespread feeling of emotional unhappiness is the most common reason given.

Many people, especially those in arranged marriages, say they feel ignored and unappreciated by their partners. For women, the reasons are often connected to changes in society.

The rise of education and financial independence for women has been a game-changer. A woman who earns her own money is less likely to stay in an unhappy marriage.

Divya Bhardwaj explained: “More women are working and often, the husband and wife are working in different towns and cities.

“Due to this, they have more exposure to members of the opposite sex.”

A woman may also turn to an affair if she feels her husband is not satisfying her sexually.

Ramya Ravi said: “It is possible that a wife can express her desires when her husband is not at home.

“This generally happens when the husband is unable to understand and fulfil the inner desires and sexual fantasies of his wife.

“In the era of smartphones, it is easy for a woman to find a companion to fulfil her sexual desires.”

Guru Murthy added: “If the sex is inadequate and/or absent, there is a need to fulfil the same outside marriage.”

In Bengaluru, for example, Gleeden reported that 68% of its users were women, showing that many women are actively using the platform to find “excitement and freedom” outside their marriage.

For men, the reasons can be tied to a need for validation or a way to escape the stress of work and family.

For both men and women, however, the root cause is often a serious lack of communication. Instead of talking openly about their problems or seeking therapy, many turn to the short-lived excitement of a new connection as a way to escape.

The privacy of city life and online apps makes this escape easier than ever.

Consequences

The laws around cheating in India saw a huge change in September 2018.

The Supreme Court got rid of a 158-year-old British-era law that made adultery a crime.

The court called the law outdated and unfair, pointing out that it treated women as their husbands’ property.

The ruling made it clear that while adultery is no longer a crime, it can still be used as a reason for divorce. This legal change has had a big impact on society, reducing the legal risk of having an affair and leading to more public debate on the topic.

This change in law happened as dating apps began to market themselves heavily in India, which is now one of their biggest markets.

By advertising their services, these apps help make extramarital affairs seem more normal.

However, even with these changes, the social fallout from cheating is still serious.

There is a huge stigma, and finding out about an affair can have a terrible impact on the couple, their children, and their families.

The emotional pain is linked to mental health problems and can sometimes lead to domestic violence. This heavy social cost is why cheating often remains a well-kept secret in many Indian homes.

What This Means for Young Indians

For young city-dwellers in India, this changing world brings new challenges.

The clear lines that used to define loyalty are now blurry.

An online friendship can easily develop into an emotional affair.

The feeling of safety behind a screen can lead people to share things they wouldn’t in person. Even the definition of cheating is now up for discussion: Is a secret, intense online chat a form of betrayal?

In this new world, clear communication is absolutely essential.

Young couples need to discuss their boundaries about online privacy and friendships ahead of time. What one partner sees as a harmless chat, the other might see as a deep betrayal.

The growing acceptance of relationship counselling in cities offers a useful tool for dealing with these issues.

Young South Asians must deal with the old conflict between desire, duty, and consequences in a new, modern way.

The choices made on a private chat can have long-lasting effects, reminding us that even in a big city like Delhi or Mumbai, private actions can have very public results.

The two forces of city life and digital technology have clearly created more chances for affairs in Indian cities.

The huge growth of dating apps and honest online confessions points to a rise in secret relationships, from the tech offices of Bengaluru to the old streets of Kanchipuram.

But this trend exists in a strange contradiction with official numbers, which still show low divorce rates.

The difference points to an important truth: many people are looking for happiness outside their marriage but don’t plan to actually end it.

The real issue, then, is not technology but trust.

Phones and cities are just new stages for the same old human problems of longing, unhappiness, and betrayal to play out.

The main challenge is how people will handle the breakdown of closeness in the face of these new pressures.

The law has changed, but this has not solved the deep moral conflicts or the personal pain caused by cheating.

Relationships are changing and to understand this new reality, we need to look past the shocking headlines and take a balanced view that considers both the numbers and the very personal stories behind them.