Romesh Ranganathan admits having Suicidal Thoughts

Comedian Romesh Ranganathan has admitted he has regularly thought about taking his own life due to a “horrific” voice in his head.

Romesh Ranganathan admits having Suicidal Thoughts f

"I’d spend time thinking about it."

Romesh Ranganathan has opened up about having suicidal thoughts.

The comedian appeared on The Diary of a CEO podcast and told host Steven Bartlett about the challenges he has faced throughout his life.

Romesh said: “I’ve got loads of memories of reacting really badly to things irrationally, over-the-top reactions.

“I didn’t do very well in my A Levels… and then when the A-Level results came, I was like, ‘This is the end. I can’t carry on’.

“I was thinking about taking my own life regularly.

“There were loads of times during that period when I thought about it and I’d fantasise about it… I’d spend time thinking about it.

“That was the toughest time and then as I got older, I still had the same issues, but I started to be able to deal with them a bit more effectively. I managed to shut off the voice.

“There’d be long times I don’t have any voice at all. It’s just gone, and then occasionally, you just go dark again.”

When asked about the stereotype that comedians are often either depressed or have a family member with mental health problems, Romesh said:

“I don’t think that all comedians are depressed, but I do think that all comedians are wired slightly differently.

“They’ve had something happen to them that has made them an outsider in some way.

“We lived in a nice house. We had a nice car. All the stereotypical things that you mark success with.

“Then in a period of six months, six months, it was a complete 180…”

Speaking about his comedic career, he said:

“I’m addicted to doing stand-up. And it makes me better at everything.

“But… I’ve got this inner voice that is horrific. It will say, “you’re not a very good Dad, you’re not a very good husband.

“I had a run of about six panel shows, and I was in a really bad place, and I turned up to each one of them with the steadfast belief that I was sh*t at this.”

On what happens when things go wrong on stage, Romesh explained:

“It’s horrible. That silence… That never gets easier, man, But you learn more from those gigs. I just need to do the best I possibly can at this gig, I’m not in control of anything that happens after that.

“Don’t think about this goal down the line that you’re trying to get to. Do this thing brilliantly and if you love what you do and you do that, you’re on a good path.”

Romesh Ranganathan was previously a maths teacher and head of sixth form at Hazelwick School in Crawley, where he had also been a pupil.

It was there he met his wife Leesa, a fellow teacher, with whom he now has three children.

Growing up, Romesh had a turbulent time as his father Ranga left his mother Shanthi when he was just 12.

When Ranga was jailed for fraud, the family home was repossessed.

The family were forced to live in a B&B for 18 months before moving into a council house.

When he was released, Ranga began running a pub. However, he suddenly died of a heart attack.

The revelation comes after Romesh revealed that he had a feud with his brother Dinesh over money problems following their father’s death in 2011.

He fell out with Dinesh after he felt that he “wasn’t doing enough” to support his family when he quit teaching to pursue a comedy career.

Romesh Ranganathan revealed it took months for them to repair their relationship.

He said:

“My dad passing away caused massive problems with me and my brother.”

“We had this situation where we found out our financial situation was a house of cards, and we weren’t sure what was going to happen to the house.

“At the same time I wasn’t making any money from comedy, and it was a really high-pressure situation. My brother felt like I wasn’t doing enough to help out.”

Detailing the moment that their relationship fell apart, Romesh told Griefcast:

“I remember having a massive row with him in the foyer of a theatre.

“I shouted, ‘I’m never going to forget how you’ve treated me’. And the argument continued. That created a rift between us that took months to sort out.

“Every now and again… it’s like a scar.

“If one of us perceives the other to be not doing the brotherly thing, we’ll fall back on that dynamic very easily.”

Dhiren is a journalism graduate with a passion for gaming, watching films and sports. He also enjoys cooking from time to time. His motto is to “Live life one day at a time.”

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