Is Calorie Counting Ruining Your Relationship With Food?

Calorie counting has long been seen as the default method for weight management.

But for many, it can turn eating into a numbers game rather than a source of nourishment.

While tracking intake can offer structure, it often leaves people stressed, anxious and disconnected from the actual experience of food.

Experts now emphasise the importance of focusing on what we eat, not just how much, to support both physical and mental wellbeing.

We explore why a food-first approach matters, why rigid tracking can backfire, and how intuitive and balanced eating can restore a healthy relationship with food.

Why Calorie Counting can Overshadow Real Nourishment

Tracking calories may feel logical, but it often reduces food to numbers instead of nutrients. Many people start counting to feel in control.

Dietician Priya Tew explains: “When I meet new clients, they often tell me it’s how they make sure they aren’t ‘overdoing it’, or that they’re eating enough to fuel their busy lives.”

There is some truth to this approach.

The body runs on energy from food, and being aware of intake can highlight areas where diets are excessive or insufficient. Yet calorie totals alone do not reflect the nutritional quality of food.

A meal of gummy bears and a salad might hit the same number, but the effects on satiety, energy and long-term health are very different.

Public health guidance sets daily calorie targets, 2,500kcal for men and 2,000kcal for women in the UK, but these are averages, not personal prescriptions.

Tew says: “These are just ballpark figures, based on an ‘average’ adult with typical activity levels.

“But your body isn’t just a set of numbers to be calculated.”

Energy needs shift daily, influenced by stress, sleep, hormones and activity levels, which numbers alone cannot capture.

When Counting Overshadows Enjoyment

Rigid calorie counting can make food feel like a chore rather than a source of pleasure.

Over time, it may encourage restrictive habits, avoidance of favourite foods, or an unhealthy focus on weight rather than wellbeing.

Tew warns:

“Cutting out food groups, avoiding the foods you love and shedding weight fast simply does not work for most people.”

Initial results may appear positive, but weight regain is common, often accompanied by guilt and frustration.

Beyond the physical impact, the emotional toll is significant.

Meals lose their enjoyment and social experiences become stressful.

Food should nourish both body and mind, yet constant monitoring can erode that balance.

Food-First Approaches

Intuitive eating shifts the focus from counting calories to listening to the body’s natural cues.

Tew says: “I am a firm believer that all food is good food.”

This philosophy challenges the concept of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods, instead encouraging people to eat in a way that feels satisfying and balanced.

Quality matters as much as quantity.

A hundred calories from broccoli deliver fibre, vitamins and slow-release energy, while the same number of calories from sweets offers short-lived satisfaction.

Both can have a place in a balanced diet, but prioritising nutrient-dense foods ensures long-term wellbeing.

Practical strategies can support this food-first approach.

Fibre, protein and healthy fats help sustain fullness, reducing constant snacking. Simple portion guides, such as a palm-sized serving of protein, two handfuls of vegetables and a thumb-sized portion of fat, provide structure without obsession.

Hunger scales can help rebuild awareness of internal cues, guiding when to eat and when to stop.

Calorie counting can teach portion awareness, but it should not overshadow the true purpose of eating: nourishment.

A focus on food quality, variety and satisfaction allows people to eat well without stress or guilt.

By trusting internal cues and prioritising nutrition, meals become a source of energy, pleasure and health rather than numbers.

Ultimately, the healthiest relationship with food comes from listening to the body, enjoying what is on the plate and choosing foods that nourish both mind and body.

Food is meant to sustain, satisfy and delight, and it works best when eating is guided by intuition and quality, not calculation.