"Never start with a short “Hello” or “Hi”. It just looks lazy."
Nowadays, using websites and apps is fast becoming the most popular way to find Desi love and marriage. But where do you start? How can you find that someone special online?
Using the platforms is as much an art as it is a science. It all involves getting the maximum use out of these technologies while still using all your charms, wit and intelligence to find what you want.
Of course, there will be hits and misses which will build up your experiences of online dating or looking for a marriage partner.
If used simply as a medium and aid to help you find that special person, you can reap the benefits to find a match that suits your outlook and desire.
From choosing the right kind of website or app to setting-up your profiles properly, we look at five ways you can find Desi love and marriage online.
Online Dating vs Marriage
Firstly, you need to be very clear about your objectives and is it that you really want at your stage of life.
Are you looking for marriage and a long term relationship? Or are you simply looking to date and see how it goes.
Because these two are very different preambles from the onset. One has the aim to marry while the other aims to develop a relationship for a possible future.
This means you need to choose the right website or app.
If you are looking for marriage then veer towards matrimonial websites and apps, instead of dating ones. But if dating is where you are at, then choose a Desi website or app which provides this service.
Otherwise, you will find that you could be wasting your time and that of others by choosing the wrong platform for your specific needs.
Sham, aged 26, says:
“I joined a few websites without putting much thought into it.
“Some were marriage sites and others dating. However, all I wanted to do at this stage was to try it out.
“I then realised after meeting some women that most of them were pretty clear what they wanted and it resulted in me wasting my time and theirs.
“So, yes choosing the right platform wisely is an important point.”
Tina, aged 27, says:
“I was ready to marry and what I found was by going on some websites and apps, the choices I made were not on the same page.
“This became frustrating and annoying because I found myself going on meets which resulted in no outcome at all.
“So, taking time to choose the right website or app can make a difference.”
Desi dating website or apps should give you the freedom to choose your matches and date. Giving you the opportunity to meet an individual who could be the one and develop your relationship.
Priya from the AsianD8 team says that it is important to be open-minded as well when joining a dating website or app and says:
“Be open-minded and take the leap by joining a dating platform like AsianD8.
“Joining a dating platform is now the norm so stop overthinking it!”
Look for success stories when choosing a platform because that will indicate how people previously have found Desi love and marriage.
After you have joined the platform that meets your needs. The next step is to create a profile that will attract matches.
Too many people tend to jump straight into searching and finding other people on a website or app than spending some time on creating that attractive profile which will get you results.
To find Desi love and marriage online, you will need to spend some time on your profile and complete it to literally ‘sell’ you.
How many times have you looked at other profiles and gone straight past them due to a poor photo or write-up? Well, guess what? Prospects are doing the same to yours if it does not catch their eye.
So, filling out your profile honestly and accurately with as much detail is a must. It will save you time and questions in the long run.
While filling out the information required is important, even more so are your photos on your profile, as Priya explains:
“Get your photos in order.
“We still get surprised by how poor some of the photos that people upload are (especially the guys!).”
“We are in the age of Instagram and our phones have amazing camera technology so there should be no excuses for a shabby photo.”
So, taking good photos which are realistic as well will increase your chances of being found on the platform by people who are attracted to your look.
Kulvir, aged 29, says:
“When I first joined a Desi dating site, I just quickly registered and uploaded a quick photo without putting any thought into it.
“I noticed that I was getting messages from guys with either bad photos or very little on their profile.
“This was not what I was looking for! So, a friend told me to spend some time on my profile and take some good photos.
“After I did this, what a difference! In fact, I ended up finding my future husband on the site!”
Hence, creating an informative and realistic profile, keeping it updated, and adding a selection of nice photos will definitely increase your chances to find love.
Behaviour and Communication
When using a website or app to find Desi Love and marriage, your behaviour and communication on the platform can make all the difference.
How you communicate with prospects on the platform can make or break the chance of a good date or marriage prospect.
What you say and way you say it can lead to either a result or disappointment as in no replies.
Priya from AsianD8 says:
“Never start with a short “Hello” or “Hi”. It just looks lazy.”
“Try to send tailored messages which are 3-4 sentences to start with.”
“If possible, try to keep them lighthearted. In other words, don’t dive into questions about marriage, family history and so on.”
Sending good messages and responding to messages in a positive way is extremely important if you are serious about finding the kind of match you desire.
Communication is centric to a good relationship and if yours is poor on the platform, the other person will assume this is how you are in reality as well.
Make the effort, create conversations which will help you create a dialogue which can lead to a relationship which can develop offline as much as online.
While most will think it is customary for the guys to make the first contact, Priya encourages the women to do so as well, saying:
“Ladies! Don’t be shy! Make the first move. This is the digital world, it does not take much to reach out to someone and ask them a few questions.”
Hemant, aged 25, says:
“When I first joined, I must admit, I did leave short messages – just a ‘Hi, how are you’.
“This I found yielded in very little or similar slow replies like ‘Im okay and you?’
“So, once I tried a longer message with more details about me and what I was looking for. I was amazed at the responses being similar but also very positive.
“After more conversations of this kind, it led to me finding someone to date offline.”
In addition to good communication, your behaviour online can also result in the good or the bad.
If someone is rude, abusive or not amicable, do not be abusive back or go to their level. It is easier to block a person or stop communicating with them, than waste your time.
Your behaviour and communication are attributes of attraction, so use them wisely when looking for Desi love and marriage.
Use and Expectations
Many people do not use the platform on a regular basis and this can lead to missed chances of connecting with someone, as Priya explains:
“Regularly check the app. Don’t forget to log in and see who has been engaging with your profile.
“We see so many members miss out on opportunities because they forget to do this.”
Therefore, try to login at least once a day to see if you have had responses to your messages. Or to create new dialogues with new people on the app or website.
Update or change your profile, to reflect any changes you want to portray to prospects. Keeping it fresh can add value to your presence on the platform.
When it comes to expectations of results, having too many too early when using a website or app when looking for Desi love and marriage can lead to disappointment.
Managing expectations is going to be crucial to finding that special person.
Patience, time and effort are all required if you are serious about seeking out someone who you can date or marry.
Some people can have expectations which are deflated when they meet someone away from the platform for the first time. Be prepared for this, because no one is perfect and sometimes photos may not tell you all about a person.
Sameena, aged 26, says:
“I found myself getting on really well with this guy I met online. So, we eventually decided to meet.
“On the first date, I noticed he look somewhat different from his photos
“However, our date went really well, and from there onwards for me what mattered was the real him and not his photos.”
Shahid, aged 30, says:
“I joined a marriage platform as I was ready to settle down.
“I started conversations with a few women and honed in on one who I felt met my needs.
“We met up and I just did not feel the same when I met her in person.
“I was disappointed because I expected her to be chatty and upbeat as she was online but she was very quiet and our conversation was dry.”
It is important not to depend on a platform to provide you with everything you are looking for. It is still about individuals, their personalities, looks, needs and outlooks.
Therefore, it is down to you to explore those further after connecting with them on the platform.
Safety is of paramount importance when it comes to finding Desi love and marriage online.
Once you join a platform, keep your conversations online until you are ready to move to the next stage, which may be exchanging a telephone number or perhaps meeting them in person.
However, before this, you still need to get to know as much as you can about the person, which may not be so obvious on their profile.
A good way of doing this is to use social media as Priya from AsianD8 explains:
“Stay safe! Take your time to get to know someone and once you do make sure you connect them on your social media feeds so you can check for mutual connections and their type of activity.”
This can help you build a better picture of the person’s background, likes and dislikes by connecting with them on their social media.
When it comes to giving information about yourself to someone, you are not obliged to divulge anything you do not want to until you feel completely comfortable to do so or even not at all.
You must stay in control of how you communicate on the platform.
If someone is not behaving towards you the way you do not expect on the platform, you should use the blocking feature on the website or app, or report them to the company. Do not tolerate any kind of abuse or misdemeanours.
Giving addresses and personal information online is not advised. It is better to do this later into a relationship when and if you feel it right to do so.
Even giving a telephone number, means you are opening up to speak outside of the platform which will usually mean that the website or app holds no responsibility for what is said or exchanged.
Davina, aged 25, says:
“After joining a Desi dating website, I found myself chatting a lot to this one guy, who I got to like.
“After about a week I became impulsive and gave him my telephone number. A big mistake!
“He started calling me three-five times a day which is not what I expected and it got irritating.
So, I had to start ignoring his calls and then, eventually, I blocked him.
“Lesson learned! I now would never do that.”
Therefore, act wisely and manage your communications and be responsible for yourself.
If you decide to meet someone you meet online in person, then it is advised you meet in a public place. Not at a personal address or secluded premises. Also, let friends or family know that you are meeting the person.
Acting and being safe does not mean you cannot explore the website or dating app to find that special person, it simply means you are protecting yourself from any vulnerability you may not expect.
These five ways can help you find Desi love and marriage on a website or app.
AsianD8, for example, is one platform which provides the opportunity for you to date, meet and even marry that special person. You can visit them here.
We wish you the best in your search for that special person!