How Can Tantric Sex benefit your Relationship?

Tantric sex is not just about sex, it is a way of holistically improving your relationship and experiencing pleasure at levels never encountered before.

tantic sex

Tantric sex originates from sexual rituals 2500–5000 years ago

Tantric sex is often viewed as a mystical and exotic form of sexual practice. However, tantric sex can benefit many who struggle with the woes of everyday life and especially, a dull sex life.

In the modern age, sex has become a routine for many due to very busy lifestyles, as well as very casual for others who are not interested in real relationships due to the ‘swipe and date’ culture.

For some people, sex can become a source of frustration to the point of avoiding the sexual intercourse altogether. This puts a strain on relationships and kills the intimacy.

Moreover, sex life in long-term relationships can become boring if it is not kept spiced up or different.

So, to benefit relationships which have got jaded sexually, tantric sex is a great way to enhance your sex life and to reconnect with your partner.

Even if you are happy with your sex life, tantric sex can certainly improve it. If you try tantric sex, you might discover a whole new world for yourself and your partner.

If we give a chance to the alternative techniques of sex, the act of making love can become something amazing, rewarding and even purifying.

What is Tantric Sex?

tantric sex what is it

Tantric sex can be defined as slow sex with the accent on body and mind connection.

Massage, gentle kissing, touching and various techniques of meditative breathing result in strong orgasms.

In tantric sex, a vagina is referred to as the Yoni and a penis as the Lingam.

An intense mental connection is achieved through meditating together before and during sex. If your thoughts wander, return them back to the present moment.

The purpose of tantric sex is on the holistic experience of body and sex rather than only on the orgasm.

Tantric sex is in its core the opposite of the western sex as it is not about orgasming but about the wholeness of sexual experience.

During tantric sex, it is primary to relax, be in the moment and practice slow touches. Penetration and orgasming are only secondary.

Also, because of delayed penetration, orgasm lasts longer and is way more intense.

After initiating tantric sex with massage and meditation, you can choose to avoid penetration and orgasm altogether.

The point of tantric sex is to get rid of the pressure of western type of sex.

We all expect the sex to have a structure of a foreplay, penetration and orgasm as a prize. However, the idea is to feel the intensity of the whole sexual experience without anxiously anticipating the orgasm.

Slow and controlled breathing relaxes and even detoxifies the body. It also centres you in the present moment and helps you get out of your head.

Look into each other’s eyes while kissing, instead of closing them. This helps with being present in the moment and increases the intimacy.

Tantric sex can last for hours, even though it doesn’t have to. It’s all up to you and your partner.

Control of energy by slow breathing, gentle touch and delayed orgasm creates a deeper intimacy between partners.

All of these aspects of tantric sex heighten one’s senses and make the sexual experience more intense.

Tantric Sex Origins

How can Tantric Sex benefit your Relationship

Tantra has multiple meanings, some of which are related to sex.

The initial meaning of tantra refers to a ritual, formula or spell. Tantras or sacred ritual and spells were used to achieve some spiritual effects.

In this context, specified techniques and sex poses are used to achieve magical and trance-like effects in sex.

Tantric sex originates from sexual rituals 2500–5000 years ago from the Indus Valley region of India.

There are no written materials on tantric sex as it’s rituals were secretive and were meant to be transferred and thought from one person to another.

Tantra is a set of teachings and lifestyle philosophy.

In tantric philosophy, pleasure and joy create and reinforce motivation to improve one’s life.

Modern Tantric Sex

tantric sex water

The meaning of modern tantra is related to the rituals that have a practical purpose in the physical world.

Tantric sex achieves the results tangible in the real world. Love and joy reduce stress, improve health and increase energy and positivity.

Modern sex is tantra because it requires specific and routinely repeated rituals and constant practice in order to get results.

The achieved results of tantric rituals seem magical as we usually don’t focus long enough on bodily sensations and the present moment.

This is why the experience of tantric sex is deeply intense and even shocking for our senses.

Shakti Amarantha presents the core meaning of tantra as something practical and applicable in the real world.

She accentuates that its initial and core purpose is to see the reality, accept reality and oneself.

It is not only about sex. Tantric sex is rather an extension of the whole tantric philosophy. Modern tantric sexual philosophy focuses on energy exchange with your partner.

The purpose of tantric sex is to release pent-up energy, merge energies with our partner and cleansing mind and body.

Benefits of Tantric Sex

tantric sex pos bens

There are many benefits of Tantric sex. We take a look at some of the main ones which you will certainly help your relationship and provide it with a break from any monotony.

Better Sexual Health

Tantric Sex certainly contributes to better sexual health.  It has multiple benefits for both women and men.

Scientific and medical studies discovered proven reasons why sexual health improves during tantric sex.

One of them is increased breathing and oxygen intake during tantric sex. These factors encourage blood circulation and body detoxification, both important for sexual health.

It is also proved that during tantric sex, endocrine glands are secreting more serotonin and testosterone.

The hormone testosterone boosts the feeling of masculinity and reduces sexual anxiety. This can lead to more openness and comfort for both a guy and a girl while having sex.

If you have issues with erectile dysfunctions and premature ejaculations, tantric sex might be the right solution for you.

The slow and uncompetitive nature of tantric sex can naturally remove psychological blocks when it comes to sex.

For women, tantric sex helps with anorgasmia or a condition where a woman can’t reach an orgasm in spite of sexual stimulation.

Prolonged Orgasms and Increased Intimacy

Shifting focus on nonpenetrative pleasuring of your partner heightens all the senses.

Feeling each other’s bodies by slow touches, breathing together and simply being in the moment together leads to fantastic orgasms.

Slow, sensual touching makes tantric sex even more erotic. The unrushed buildup of sexual energy can lead to explosive orgasms.

Tantric, delayed orgasms are stronger than regular orgasms. Therefore, tantric sex decreases depression and stress symptoms due to a release of happy hormones and chemicals during orgasming.

Unlike the regular sex orgasm, tantric sex orgasm can last for hours. The main difference is that it is not isolated only to the genital area, but encompasses the whole body, mind and spirit.

Tantric orgasm is accompanied by tingling sensations in the head, arms and whole body.

Adrian describes tantric orgasm: ”There is a lot of tingling and what feels a bit like stretching, only very subtle. There may be a kind of blissful dizziness. Other than that, I wouldn’t know how to describe it… it’s just blissful.”

The length of tantric sex increases the bonding and intimacy between partners. It also brings a higher state of ecstasy to partners.

A tip for women is to slow down their breathing as they approach the orgasm.


tantric sex atmosphere

Because of the workload and stressful everyday life, it is necessary to create an atmosphere that helps us forget about our stresses.

The aim is for both partners to be maximally relaxed.

Ideally, a tantric sex session should be performed in a separate room, far away from everyday stressors.

Even if you don’t have a separate room, you can improvise and prepare your room for lovemaking tantric session. You can buy soft sheets, aromatic candles and of course, make your space clean.

Put away your laptop, papers, notebooks or anything that your mind associates with work or pressure.

Dim the lights and light some candles. You can also use gentle essential oils such as lavender oil. If desired, put water, wine or snacks on the side for breaks between the waves of passion.

Try to start having tantric sex on the floor as the bed could make you sleepy.

Starting the massage and sex in clothes minimizes simulation and helps in building up the pleasure.

Turn on some sensual music for relaxation and to boost the sexual mood.

Tantric Meditative Techniques

tantric sex massage

Three crucial components for a successful tantric sex session are meditation, breath control and massage.

Meditation is a central part of the tantric sex session as it reinforces breathing, focus on the moment and brings us to the deeper levels of joy.

Tantric sex includes the exchange of energy. Inhale when your partner exhales and vice versa.

Hand on Heart

Both of the partners should sit on the pillow cross-legged facing and in front of each other.

Each partner should take their right hand and put it in the centre of the partner’s chest. The left hand should be on the top of your partner’s right hand.

You can both close your eyes and observe the intensity, rhythm and pace of each other’s heartbeats. You can either breathe together in harmony or simply look into each other’s eyes.

Nurturing Meditation

One partner embraces the body of the other behind their back in the spooning position. The partner from the back puts their right hand on their partner’s heart.

The other partner puts their right hand on their partner’s right hand and their left hand on their forehead.

For more comfort and easier access to each other’s bodies, you can put pillows under your head, neck and shoulder.

In this position, the one from the back is a giver and they send out or give energy to the receiver who receives the energy.

You can change your positions as a giver and receiver depending on who is in need of more nurturing.

This way you can align your heart belly and nurture each other with your body and energies.

Synchronized Breathing

This technique can be performed in a lying position during and before sex. It is advised that both partners are on their left side.

The aim is to do all the stages of breathing together and at the same time harmoniously.

When one partner inhales, the other partner should inhale too. The same goes for pauses in breathing and exhale.

This meditative technique increases the awareness of both partners on their breath and the present moment.

Stay present during sex. Observe the whole experience, yourself, the reaction of your body and meditate during the act of lovemaking.

Really be there instead of losing yourself in the waves of sexual passion.

Relax as much as you can and don’t rush thing to begin or end during the foreplay and the after play.

Stay embraced with your lover and keep touching each other’s bodies even after the orgasm.

The aim is to stay conscious, even in the process of orgasming and after orgasm.

Tantric Massage

Tantric massage can be a perfect interlude into a tantric sex section. Taking a bath or shower together will relax you and soften your skin before the sensual massage.

Remember that tantric massage is not a typical massage with a happy ending as it is not about orgasm.

Using some sensual oils will add to the deep erotic relaxation provided by this massage.

The partner who is massaged should lay face-down. Start with a non-sexual massage at first and then proceed to genitals, breasts and other erogenous zones.

Perform a massage in a way that is comfortable for both of you. Besides your hands, you can also use tools such as fabric, feathers and wax.

You can experiment with light, medium and rough touches.

Applying all or some techniques of tantric sex can make your sex better. You can play around and find out what kind of routine works the best for you as a couple.

Tantrix Sex Positions

tantric sex benefits

The Erotic Carousel

Kama Sutra suggests that a woman should take an active role at least once during the sexual intercourse. The position of the erotic carousel is a perfect position for a woman to be in charge.

A man should lay down on his back. A woman has to sit on top of him vertically, turning his back from him. She grounds her feet into the floor and grinds on his Lingam sensually.

The woman has a freedom to find the angle perfect for simulation. In this position, she can reach the G-spot orgasm and the cervico-uterine orgasm.

This is one of the most exciting sex positions because it brings both partners into the states of introspections. It eventually leads to profound internal orgasmic experiences and deeply enhances passion and erotic feelings for each other.

The Posture of The Apes in The Third Month of Spring

This position for a deeper penetration is very similar to the doggy style.

Women should keep her legs slightly apart and lean with her hands on the floor or on a chair. Her partner should hold her waist tenderly and get into her Yoni with deep strokes.

This position is perfect for G spot stimulation for her. For him, the view of her buttocks is definitely a plus. He can also massage her breasts and stimulate her clitoris.

For even deeper penetration, he should thrust his hands gently on her thighs. You can be creative here and combine slow and fast penetration.

In general, all positions where women’s thighs are close to her chest allow deeper penetration.

Yab – Yum 

In this position, you can both practice synchronized breathing and penetration.

A man has to sit in a lotus position with his back straight. He can also take up a looser, cross-legged position if he can’t do the lotus position.

A woman embraces the man’s back and crosses her legs around his torso, while his Lingam penetrates into her.

This position allows deep penetration into a woman’s cervix.

A woman has an active role in this position. She can move her pelvis back and forth and contract her vaginal muscles during penetration.

Yab – Yum position leads to ecstatic orgasms for both partners as they can meditate during the intercourse.

Sex doesn’t have to be about finishing, competition with yourself and others and can be a fresh, relaxing experience which benefits extend to the spirit

Everyone’s body and a level of sexual openness are different. Everyone can discover their most pleasurable and effective sex positions.

Don’t worry if tantric sex doesn’t work for the first time because these techniques take time to master. However, the gain is tremendous because with tantric sex you can improve both your relationship and your sexual health.

The effort and patience put into the tantric sex practice pay off as the prize leads to a deeper intimacy between couples and the most joyful and memorable states of ecstasy.

The key is getting into your body and out of your mind. In that kind of mental space, all judgment disappears and we can refocus on creating a great mutual experience.

Remember that the basic rules of tantric sex are to relax and take it slow, in order to reward yourself with immense pleasure.

Lea is a student of English and Creative Writing and is constantly rethinking herself and the world around her through writing and reading poetry and short stories. Her motto is: "Take your first step before you’re ready."

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