"Before I had anal, I was scared because of the unknown."
Have you ever thought about exploring anal sex?
In a world where emojis have taken on their own lives, the seemingly innocent peach emoji holds a deeper meaning.
Beyond its fruity appearance, the emoji symbolises the personal expression and autonomy of the rear in the digital age.
Join us as we delve into the journey of independence and self-expression, especially in our evolving understanding of sexuality, focusing on discussions surrounding anal intimacy.
Breaking Away from the Norm
In a world filled with diverse desires and preferences, we must engage in open and honest discussions about all forms of sexual expression.
Not everyone desires or has ‘penis in vagina’ sex, and that’s perfectly fine.
Whether you’re already practising this type of sex or are exploring other options, knowledge is a powerful tool.
Even if you decide that anal sex isn’t for you, having the information is valuable.
Anal sex is a common sexual fantasy for many couples. It often represents an adventurous and intimate act that can spice up relationships.
If you’re considering trying anal sex for the first time, it’s essential to approach it with care, communication, and preparation.
Setting the Ambiance
Before taking the plunge, ensure that both you and your partner enthusiastically agree and consent.
Open and honest communication is the key to understanding each other’s desires, concerns, and boundaries.
Trust and consent are the building blocks of a pleasurable experience.
Being mentally and physically at ease can reduce tension and make the experience more enjoyable.
Take the time to create a space that promotes relaxation and comfort.
Prep for Pleasure
Cleanliness is a common concern when it comes to anal sex.
Consider using a gentle anal douche or enema to ensure a clean experience.
However, be cautious not to overuse these methods, as they can disrupt the natural balance of the rectum.
Additionally, it’s advisable to avoid eating for a couple of hours before engaging in anal sex, particularly foods that may cause digestive discomfort, such as beans or lentils.
If you decide to let your partner ejaculate inside you, ensure you have some tissues at hand, otherwise, it could get a little messy.
No Lube, No Play
The derrière does not naturally lubricate like the vagina, so using a high-quality, water-based lubricant generously is crucial.
Lubricants are readily available from pharmacies or online and can also be used for vaginal sex.
Lubrication ensures that the experience is comfortable and enjoyable for both partners.
A recommended approach starts with gentle external stimulation and gradually progresses to penetration.
You can use fingers or smaller anal toys before attempting full intercourse.
Always be cautious to ensure that any objects that are being used are designed for this purpose and won’t get lost, or it will be an embarrassing trip to the hospital.
Be Playful with Positions
Experiment with different sexual positions to find what’s most comfortable and enjoyable for both partners.
Consider starting with positions that give the receiving partner more control.
Finding the correct position is crucial to making the experience pleasurable for both partners.
There are 64 positions in the Kama Sutra, so choose one you both feel comfortable with and have fun with.
One reader named Char gave us an insight into her experience with anal sex:
“Before I had anal, I was scared because of the unknown and the horror stories I had heard, but now I have experienced it myself, I love it.
“I suggest you use a vibrator and let the man ease himself in gently, making sure you are continuously listening to your body and breath.”
Prioritising Comfort and Safety
It’s essential to remember that anal sex should not be painful. If it is, stop immediately and re-evaluate the situation.
Take time out and talk, and then try again.
Touching and kissing each other relaxes you and removes those anxious nerves.
To ensure safety and protection against sexually transmitted infections (STIs), consider using condoms.
It would be beneficial for the individuals to get checked regularly.
Continuously checking in with your partner during the experience is essential, as their comfort and consent should always be paramount.
There are multiple health considerations to keep in mind before engaging in anal sex, especially for the first time.
An article in the British Medical Journal has drawn attention to non-STI health problems associated with anal sex.
These can include anal pain, faecal incontinence (loss of bowel control), and anal fissures – small tears at the anus that can become more severe and cause bleeding and pain.
It’s crucial to be aware of the potential complications that could develop from engaging in anal sex.
It is important to remember that anal sex may not be for everyone, and it’s perfectly acceptable if you decide it’s not something you want to continue.
Anal sex is not a modern invention.
It has a long history, dating back to ancient civilisations such as the Greeks and Romans, who found pleasure and intimacy in this practice.
Whether you come from a conservative background or any other cultural perspective, consent, communication, and safety principles remain universal.
This is your journey of self-expression, and sexual exploration is uniquely yours.
It’s essential to enjoy it while prioritising both your comfort and safety. Remember, when it comes to your sexual journey, you’re in control.
Harsha Patel is an erotica writer who adores the subject of sex, and realising sexual fantasies and lust through her writing. Having gone through challenging life experiences as a British South Asian woman from an arranged marriage with no choice to an abusive marriage and then a divorce after 22 years, she started her journey to explore how sex plays a significant role in relationships and its power to heal. You can find her stories and more on her website here.