Every individual and relationship is different.
Several factors can contribute to difficulties in lasting longer in the bedroom.
These may include stress, performance anxiety, lack of sexual experience, hormonal imbalances, certain health conditions, and relationship issues.
It is important to remember that all of these factors are common concerns.
Therefore, seeking help from a healthcare professional can help with the underlying issues.
It may be difficult for men to speak to someone as it could be a sign of embarrassment to the individual.
However, it is not uncommon in the South Asian community.
It is more frustrating to keep quiet, hoping the issues will disappear without help or talking to someone.
For many, wanting to last longer in bed is a common concern in relationships.
If you want to improve your sexual stamina, there are various ways to enhance your power and have a more satisfying experience with your partner.
Good communication is essential in any relationship, especially regarding sex.
Talk to your partner about your desires and any concerns you may have about lasting longer in bed.
You can work together to make the experience more enjoyable by sharing your thoughts.
During sex, maintain a steady pace and rhythm that works for you and your partner.
Experiment with different movements and positions and see what feels best.
Slowing down or changing things can also help to prolong the experience.
Own the Power
There’s nothing wrong with taking control and this could be achieved by being on top.
In this instance, the woman can lead the experience by riding harder and faster or by simply pulling out and rubbing his penis on the clitoris.
When you both get your breath back, you can continue in the throes of passion.
Focus on the sensations you’re experiencing during sex, and be aware of your body’s responses.
Being mindful can also help you manage arousal and extend pleasure. Furthermore, engaging in extended foreplay can be highly beneficial.
It increases intimacy and pleasure while allowing arousal to even out, which may lead to longer-lasting intercourse.
Ultimately, you need to take your time exploring each other’s bodies and building anticipation.
Alternatively, you could listen to each other’s breathing and slow down as the heart rate increases.
Exploring extended foreplay is exciting; this can help increase arousal and prolong intimacy.
Focus on sensual touch, kissing, and massaging and let your hands and mouth wander before penetration.
Communication with your partner about desires and preferences can also enhance the experience.
Using sex toys, such as a vibrator, on each other may also prove helpful while trying to heighten the sexual pleasure for both and your partner in the bedroom.
Additionally, oral sex is a great way to have fun, as this will take precedence before penetration and make you last longer in bed.
The Art of Edging
The edging technique is a sexual practice where a person intentionally delays their orgasm during sexual activity to prolong the experience of pleasure.
This is usually achieved by stopping or reducing stimulation just before reaching the point of orgasm and then resuming after a brief pause.
Edging can intensify the eventual orgasm and create heightened sensations.
The experience could be compared to stopping and starting in your car, but it is way more fun.
So, discover the tantalising art of edging in the bedroom, where pleasure takes a detour, but the connection arrives on time.
Premature ejaculation is when an individual ejaculates sooner than they would like during sex.
It is a pleasurable release controlled by your brain.
This can occur with minimal sexual stimulation before the person wishes it to happen.
It’s a common issue and can be caused by various factors, such as psychological or even relationship-related factors.
Premature ejaculation can lead to relationship stress and dissatisfaction but open communication can help with this.
One of the things you could try is masturbating an hour or so before having sex.
The squeeze technique was introduced in the 1970s by pioneering researchers.
This involves various steps, from stimulation, in which you engage in sexual activity until you are close to ejaculation, then squeezing.
This allows you or your partner to gently squeeze the base of the penis for a few seconds to reduce arousal.
Then pause for approximately 30 seconds and resume sexual penetration.
This technique allows your partner and you to control and heighten your sexual activity.
Sex toys may help your bedroom performance.
A popular choice is the cock ring.
Strengthen your Core
Pelvic floor exercises, known as Kegels, can also help you improve your sex life.
These exercises target the muscles responsible for controlling ejaculation.
To do Kegels, squeeze the muscles you’d use to stop the urine flow, hold for a few seconds, and then release.
Kegels can be done without anyone else knowing as it is discrete and can be done anywhere, even at your desk at work.
Engaging in stress-reducing activities like meditation, yoga, or regular exercise may also help to create a more relaxed atmosphere in the bedroom.
Above all, reduced stress can lead to a more enjoyable sexual experience.
How Long is Long?
So, how long is long during sex? It could be hours, using different methods and techniques.
But how long is penetrative sex?
According to Science News Daily, satisfactory sexual intercourse lasts 3 to 13 minutes for couples, contrary to popular belief about the need for hours of sexual activity.
A 2020 study suggested that the average female in a monogamous heterosexual relationship needs 13.41 minutes to orgasm from penile-vaginal intercourse.
In contrast, according to the National Library of Medicine, the average male can take 5-7 minutes to reach orgasm and ejaculate.
Sex and Viagra
Erectile dysfunction can also impact a person’s ability to maintain an erection, affecting their ability to last longer during sexual activity.
Addressing erectile dysfunction can contribute to improved control throughout sexual encounters.
People with erectile dysfunction can access various treatment options to help treat their symptoms.
From topical creams to oral medication, to even surgery in some rare cases, help is out there.
However, no erectile dysfunction medicine is as widely known as Viagra.
Viagra is one medication that can be looked at to make an erection last longer and occur faster, even in men without erectile dysfunction.
Improving your sexual stamina is about physical endurance and fostering a deeper and more meaningful connection with your partner.
It requires dedication, patience, and a willingness to embrace growth and change within your intimate relationship.
While the prospect of enhancing your sexual stamina may initially seem daunting, the rewards that lie ahead make it a journey well worth embarking upon.
The willingness to discuss your desires, preferences, and even insecurities creates an environment of trust and vulnerability where both partners feel valued and understood.
Through candid conversations, you will gain insights into each other’s needs and create a stronger emotional bond beyond the bedroom.
If you find that your performance issues are causing you distress or affecting your relationship, consider seeking guidance from a sex therapist or a counsellor.
They will provide personal advice and support to address your concerns.
Every individual and relationship is different. What works for others may not necessarily work for you.
Do not compare your relationship and how long sex lasts with others, as even porn stars do not go on for hours on end.
Throughout this process, maintaining a positive attitude is paramount.
It’s normal to encounter challenges and temporary setbacks, but approaching these hurdles with resilience and optimism can turn them into valuable learning experiences.
As you and your partner navigate this path together, cherish the moments of growth, celebrate your achievements, and laugh together at the occasional mishaps.
Ultimately, how long you last in bed is not a destination but an ongoing evolution.
Harsha Patel is an erotica writer who adores the subject of sex, and realising sexual fantasies and lust through her writing. Having gone through challenging life experiences as a British South Asian woman from an arranged marriage with no choice to an abusive marriage and then a divorce after 22 years, she started her journey to explore how sex plays a significant role in relationships and its power to heal. You can find her stories and more on her website here.