“Smelly breath can sometimes kill the mood.”
Sex can be a taboo topic for many Indian women, from having sex to even discussing sexual activity.
However, the topic of sexual pleasure and enjoyment should be an increasing conversation in the Desi community and is slowly getting better.
The Female Satisfaction Survey conducted by the brand Goop revealed that 67% of women wished they orgasmed more.
The survey revealed that whilst many women found sex enjoyable, they were not being turned on enough.
Whilst sex is an intimate and passionate activity, it can be a daunting experience when women feel turned off or dislike something their partner does.
DESIblitz looks further into this conundrum, uncovering which aspects Indian women don’t like during sex.
Little or No Foreplay
Foreplay is the sexual activity that often happens before intercourse to build up sexual tension and intimacy.
It can involve sexual acts that are not always penetrative but can increase the anticipation for penetrative sex.
However, not all partners always engage in foreplay, before penetrative sex, which can be a real turn-off and disappointment for women.
Pooja Rai*, a Northumbria University student, believes “foreplay should always be a priority when engaging in sexual activity.”
Pooja explains that “foreplay allows for a build-up to sex, making things more intimate rather than rushing into it.”
Pooja’s sentiment is one of the core reasons why foreplay is so important in sexual relationships, as it builds momentum leading up to sex.
A common turn-off in the bedroom can be the unrealistic expectations placed on women during and before sex.
Many of these unrealistic expectations are based on things seen in porn and therefore can lead to fictitious expectations of women. However, porn is not reality.
Porn does not often depict the emotional and physical needs of a woman which is why Indian women dislike the unrealistic portrayals and expectations it presents.
Whilst porn has been used as a medium for sexual awareness, it can often place a lot of pressure on women where they feel the need to act or perform to the standard of porn stars.
These expectations are unrealistic and instead of sex being enjoyable for women there becomes added pressure which can make sex unenjoyable.
Dayna Eshwar from Lincolnshire certainly agrees with this sentiment, saying “When men expect us to perform like porn stars, it places way too much pressure on us and will lead to disappointment on both sides.
“Porn doesn’t represent real sex at all.”
The exoticisation of Indian women has long since been an extreme issue in society with Indian women being exploited and sexually oppressed.
Comments of this nature reduce and dehumanise Indian women to the stereotype and caricature of the demure woman.
This leaves Indian women feeling uncomfortable and used during sex as it reduces them as people by objectifying and oppressing them.
Leena Sahota, a 21-year-old law student says, “If I man calls me exotic during sex it’s an immediate turn-off.
“It’s not a compliment and it makes me feel like a prize instead of a human being.”
The issue is a growing problem for Indian women, especially when entering interracial relationships which can lead to insecurities.
It stems from a place of colonization which can put Indian women off entering an interracial relationship or engaging in sex with someone from the opposite race.
Good hygiene is an absolute must in many aspects of life, especially in the bedroom.
Poor smell, unhygienic breath, and sharp or unclean nails are all major things Indian women don’t like during sex.
Kajal Mistry, a 20-year-old English student said, “Smelly breath can sometimes kill the mood.”
This shows that Indian women are not fans of a partner who does not have good oral hygiene.
Hygiene is certainly a priority when engaging in intimacy with another person.
Not only is it a priority due to perception but also in reassuring a sexual partner that they are engaging in sex with someone who pays attention to their appearance.
Whilst it seems slightly odd or even old-fashioned, wearing socks during sex can be a major dislike for Indian women.
It can often be considered weird or odd-looking and therefore women are not attracted by the look.
According to Men’s Health, keeping socks on during sex is considered one of the most annoying things a man can do during sex.
Wearing socks during sex has long been a subject up for debate.
Though it has not been shown to improve or hinder performance in the bedroom, its appearance can be considered odd, leading to women disliking the look altogether.
Raya Patel, a 25-year-old lab worker, said, “The whole wearing socks to bed trope is not a big turn-off however it does give me the ick just because it is kind of distracting and strange during sex.”
Lack of Aftercare
Whilst it is incredibly important to take care of your partner before sex, it is also equally important to care for your partner after sex.
Aftercare following sexual activity can involve cuddling, sensual touching, soft kisses and even just the simple act of talking.
The importance of aftercare is often extremely overlooked, yet its impact can be beneficial in developing intimacy and improving communication between partners.
Business graduate Deena Sharma says aftercare makes her feel “cared for and appreciated” rather than being “discarded after sex like an object”.
Therefore, aftercare is particularly crucial in catering to the emotional well-being of women as it establishes affection after sex.
A selfish sexual partner with a big ego is perhaps a woman’s worst nightmare.
It has been proven that good manners can be a definite turn-on in a sexual relationship, therefore cockiness and an inflated ego would have the complete opposite effect.
There is a major difference between cockiness and confidence.
Whilst confidence and good manners are a turn-on, cockiness can destroy an intimate moment.
Confidence is often rooted in self-assurance and belief that appears to be an attractive quality in a partner whilst cockiness can stem from an inflated ego and a need to prove oneself.
An inflated ego is not something that women usually find to be an attractive quality in a sexual partner as it breeds arrogance and often sets a partner up for disappointment.
When asked, 49-year-old Sara Shah said “cockiness in the bedroom simply comes across as rude and arrogant and is not something desirable in a partner.”
Refusing to Wear Protection
Consent is everything during an intimate act such as sex.
The act of consent certainly applies when it comes to wearing protection too.
Refusing to wear a condom or even disclosing important sexual health information is not only extremely unlikable but can also be very dangerous for women regarding their sexual health.
It is much more reasonable to respect a woman’s wishes to wear a condom in the bedroom as it promotes trust in such an intimate situation.
Wearing protection during sex not only prevents unwanted pregnancies but ensures the sexual health and safety of both partners, limiting the risks of catching an STI or STD.
Health professionals like Kecia Gaither stress the importance of using condoms: “Internal and external condoms are the only way to prevent STI transmission during penetrative sex.”
Therefore protection is not only proven to be beneficial to one’s health but also to ensure trust and comfort for a woman in the bedroom.
Lack of Communication
Communication is key, both inside and outside of the bedroom.
However, some Indian women feel that they are not being communicated with or reassured enough during sex.
A little reassurance can sure go a long way. Asking a woman if they are enjoying sex or asking what they do enjoy whilst having sex can make all the difference.
However, failing to communicate and reassure a sexual partner can lead to intimacy issues and difficulty to connect with your partner as you are unable to anticipate or be aware of their needs.
Communication does not always involve words. Sometimes nonverbal communication like responding to touches, nods and movements can act as reassurance.
Sexual communication can therefore play a key role in keeping both partners satisfied as they have communicated what needs are to be met.
For Indian women, the issue of body hair can be a very sensitive topic.
In a previous interview with DESIblitz, Jaspreet Patel from the UK spoke about her insecurities regarding her body hair, saying once it was pointed out she “developed a lot of body issues.”
During sex when a man points out that a woman has excessive body hair, it makes sex increasingly unenjoyable and can make a woman uncomfortable.
Therefore, the last thing an Indian woman wants is for her partner to point out her body hair as it may be an insecurity of hers.
Whilst body hair is nothing to be ashamed of, pointing it out is rude and can upset someone.
Safe to say sex is not always an enjoyable experience for Indian women, especially when basic needs are not being met.
Sex can often be a daunting experience which is why many Indian women may feel they cannot communicate their dislikes to their partner.
However, these ten things they don’t like during sex can easily be reversed through communication and better practices that can make sex an enjoyable experience full of communication and trust.
Whilst it is meant to be enjoyable, sex does not need to be rushed.
With effective communication and changes in attitudes, more women may have fewer dislikes when it comes to sex.