As a Woman Find it difficult to Orgasm during Sex. What can I do?
Millions of women around the world can relate to this so please don’t think you are alone. This has nothing to do with culture or age.
More often than not it has a lot to do with our mental state, how relaxed and comfortable we feel. So if your situation is an arranged marriage where you have little to no sexual experience and no history with your new husband, it can feel very difficult to relax during intimacy.
Even for those women who have chosen their partners and who know and love them, reaching orgasm can still be a challenge for many women.
The first piece of advice is to breathe. Breathing deeply during intimacy relaxes you and energises the body. Close your eyes, breathe deeply and think about how things feel. It is so easy to get carried away and spend time thinking about other random things during sex. Don’t be surprised if those thoughts are about tomorrows dinner, the in-laws coming around or your list of chores! Over thinking during sex is very common and is a massive mood killer.
Get in touch with your body. For many, it is understood that masturbation is a topic that is not discussed or encouraged but it is a recommended option for you to learn about your body to discover what you like sexually.
Our bodies are covered in erogenous zones that can give so much pleasure and stress relief. When we know what we really like, we have a far greater chance of enjoying the sexual side of the relationship. The more comfortable you become with your partner over time, the easier you will find it to incorporate masturbation into your sex life if you choose to do so. This will ensure you are being pleased and it is a great way to teach your partner how you like things too.
Be aware that approximately 80% of women only orgasm through clitoral stimulation. So many people don’t realise this.
During intimacy with your partner try to get into positions where your clitoris is getting lots of contact with his body. Going on top is a great position to try as you can control depth and motion. Try using body movements that will create friction on your clitoris.
Also if it were possible for you to introduce a product into the bedroom, using a small amount of silicone lubricant on your clitoris and on your partner’s pubic bone can really help too. The one is recommended: ID Millennium. Slowing things down and kissing whilst he’s inside you can be a really great way of building intimacy during sex which could also help you to reach orgasm.
Rachael McCoy is an award-winning sex and relationship coach with a friendly, approachable, candid style of teaching which makes her clients feel relaxed and completely able to trust her. She provides 1:1 coaching for singles, couples and group master classes to inspire better sex and relationships. She can be reached on Twitter as @Rachael_ISxpert.
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