Communication opens up many doors, and good sex is certainly one of them.
Like feelings, talking about sex with a close one is not the easiest thing to do. Especially for South Asian couples, being open about intimacy can be hugely daunting and difficult.
But good communication is the key to any relationship, and it can also contribute immensely to a happy sex life.
When it comes to sex, many believe that it gets better with experience. For those with little experience or are not sure what they want, communication with your partner is a key way to develop a better understanding of the needs of each other.
Even if you’ve been together for a long time and experience is not such an issue, a lack of excitement can make sex seem more like a chore than a pleasure.
For couples who have been together for a while, it’s more difficult to keep things as fresh and exciting compared to the ‘honeymoon period’ of your relationship.
Rekindling passion is definitely a necessity if you want a great sex life. But how to go about it?
We’ve got some tips on how to make your sex life be as enjoyable and satisfying as possible with communication being central to the activity.
Many times you can be pressured into doing or liking things that you’d rather not do. What turns your partner on, might not turn you on.
Remember that it is normal to feel like this. Differences are what make us unique, and it’s always good to express your uniqueness through your sexual desires.
What you want in the bedroom should not put you off. So don’t ever feel that what you want is wrong – most likely, you’ll open up your partner’s perspective and allow them to look at things differently.
Getting to know what your partner likes and what you like too sexually, can be overcome by light conversations, hints or even text messages! So, there’s no need to feel timid or shy.
Remember, if you don’t ask you might not ever get.
Choose the Right Place and Time
Talking openly about sex is not easy and can feel awkward, especially, if you have not done it before.
You do not want to sound forward or give the wrong impression but you still want your partner to understand and appreciate your needs too.
Pick a time and place where you both feel comfortable – in the middle of a crowded space or after a heavy day is probably not the best moment.
The best time is when you are both relaxed and in a loving mood; like being cuddled up on the sofa or even soft pillow talk.
Avoid the topic before you actually have sex as the pressure and awkwardness is likely to turn you both off or introduce anxiety to fulfil your partner’s needs.
Honesty is the Key
Openness and honesty about what you want are essential to a healthy sex life.
Talk from the heart, the worst thing for a successful relationship is to lie – it just leads to more problems. It is better to talk openly, even if you do it in stages.
But try not to be overly critical of your partner, if there is a nicer way to say something, use that tact rather than unnecessarily hurting your partner’s feelings.
Remember intimacy with someone you care about is bound to bring out insecurities – don’t make them worse.
Listen to Their Needs
Good communication skills work both ways. Love and relationships are about balance and compromise.
Don’t think that your partner isn’t feeling the same thing as you.
Maybe they are too afraid to tell you what they want, so try and encourage them to speak openly and remember to give them the freedom to express themselves clearly.
Ask them about what they enjoy and don’t enjoy – this will help you to understand both them and yourself better.
You never know, they might just surprise you!
Developing a better understanding of your partner’s sexual needs can lead to you also expressing your desires, and honesty and respect for each other sexually can lead to wonderful and mind-blowing sex.
The worst thing that can happen to a person is to do all the giving and receive nothing in return. And this is not just about who’s doing what in the bedroom.
It’s also about how you feel when you’re doing it.
A few words of appreciation can make your partner feel like a sex king or queen and it can be a great way to make sex more passionate.
Be vocal and show your gratitude of what you are feeling and definitely let them know what makes you go sexually ‘gaga’ because unless you express it, your partner will never know.
Try Something New
Don’t be afraid to try something new! If things in the bedroom become dull, it’s up to you to change it. Don’t just blame your partner.
Introduce some spice into your sex life and make things more interesting for both of you.
Surprise your partner by introducing something new.
This could be a wearing sexy outfit, playing out a fantasy game, trying a sex toy for both of you, performing a sensual striptease, or suggesting a new sexual position. Learn from the experience and try alternatives, if one does not work.
Remember, if you show the initiative you will probably be surprised how much your partner probably wanted the change too! If you’re bored or unhappy, do something about it.
Strong bonding communication opens up many doors, and good sex is certainly one of them.
Understanding each other should not be a quiz. Learning about what each person likes and does not like can help by talking about it openly; even if you do it progressively.
Good communication builds better trust, understanding and can definitely contribute to making your sex life that much stronger.