It takes real talent to make a catastrophic film with Yash Raj's backing.
Every year Bollywood promises to make us laugh, sing, dance, or cry.
But sadly DESIblitzers, while there are a few movies which steal our hearts, there are also some that inevitably scar us for life!
Oh my darlings, we present those films that didn’t quite make the cut: the ones that made us cry and only cry, gave us a migraine attack, and those films that made us re-evaluate our entire existence!
Yes, it’s Monika’s list of the Worst Bollywood Films of 2014!
When it comes to anything ‘worst’, everybody just moves aside and makes way for Sajid Khan.
He has a special talent to spend millions on a movie that will send people into depression mode.
People demanded emergency ambulances outside cinemas when Humshakals released. And a standing ovation went to Vashu Bhagnani who dared to produce a film for Sajid Khan even after the disastrous Himmatwala.
This movie is about aliens who land on Punjab where the superstitious villagers treat them as God!
This self proclaimed sci-fi movie has such pathetic VFX that it will make Christopher Nolan want to travel out to space and stay there. Monika does not approve!
3. Creature 3D
Yes, this is a horror film. And no darlings, it’s not about Bipasha Basu!
This film is apparently about ‘brahmarakshas’, which is a cross between a lizard and a dinosaur.
Sadly, you would probably get more scared by spotting a lizard on your bedroom wall than from watching this film.
4. O Teri
O Teri was quoted as an excruciating test of your patience. Monika has to agree.
Even Bhai Salman Khan’s cameo couldn’t save the film. This film was torture of another level.
Gunday broke all the records when it achieved a never-before 1.8 rating on IMDb! Wow, Monika thinks!
It takes real talent to make a catastrophic film with Yash Raj’s backing and Ranveer, Priyanka, Arjun and Irrfan as actors. *Slow motion clap clap*
This film was Shilpa Shetty’s maiden production and sadly it didn’t do wonders for her or the viewers.
Of course, if you’re aware that it’s a Harman Baweja film and you still go to the cinema to watch it, then Monika believes you have officially lost the right to crib or blame anyone.
7. Karle Pyaar Karle
Darlings, there is a strong possibility that you might not have even heard of, let alone watched, this film.
However, even if somebody pays you £100 to watch it, trust Monika when she tells you that it won’t be worth it!
This is one of those rich producer dad’s whims of launching his incompetent son in Bollywood. Monika thinks, haven’t we already had enough Tusshar Kapoors and Uday Chopras?
8. Dear vs Bear
If you thought the title is pathetic, wait till you watch the lead actor in his 40’s acting as a teenager, wearing a uniform and trying to tackle a bear with his football skills.
This one wins the worst VFX ever and it will require some serious talent and extra hard work to beat this film in the worst-ever category.
9. Balwinder Singh Famous Ho Gaya
It is a mystery as to why singers Mika and Shaan decided to act in a film when their colleagues, Himesh, Honey Singh, and Sonu Nigam have witnessed nothing but a cataclysmic failure in the past.
Quite ironically, this film didn’t even have good music!
10. Mumbai 125 km
This film was supposed to be an out and out horror film which ended up being a horrific ordeal instead!
Watch this film if you wish to have a fun time with your friends for it has terrible actors, hilarious VFX and an unnecessary skin show by Veena Malik.
Pre-interval, the film Heartless is an hour long promo of Dubai tourism.
If that isn’t bad, then wait till you see Shekhar Suman playing his son’s friend in the film.
Now are the times when even SRK, Salman and Aamir have stopped taking up the roles of college kids but Shekhar Suman still won’t give up! Monika wonders if he will ever take the hint?
The only good thing about the film was Yo Yo Honey Singh’s ‘Blue Hai Pani’ song. The rest was a recipe for disaster.
Debutante director Divya Khosla made sure that she will top the list of ‘worst way to waste millions of bucks’.
Do not watch this film even if it’s playing on TV! Abort mission!
13. The Xpose
The Xpose was only made to ‘expose’ Himesh Reshammiya’s new look after losing some 200 pounds.
It had hilarious dialogues like ‘Tere shareer mein itna khoon nahi hoga, jitna Ravikumar ek baar mein moot deta hai’, delivered seriously by Himesh.
Yo Yo Honey Singh was even worse than his lyrics.
14. Action Jackson
Action Jackson, with the combination of Sonakshi, Ajay and Prabhu Deva was so disastrous that there was celebration on Twitter when Ajay Devgn announced his one year break from acting post this film.
If only Ajay Devgn retired and let Kajol act instead! Monika thinks the world would be a much more beautiful place.
15. Samrat & Co
What can you expect from a film wherein the hero is called STD!? This film is not even a poor man’s Sherlock Holmes but worse than that!
Oh and yes, he even wears a trench coat to prove his point. It also has disastrous dialogues like ‘Heart is fragile, handle it with care’.
What’s worse is that the hero promises to return with a sequel! Baap re!
All of these films were bad, unintentionally hilarious and a waste of money not just for the producers but also for the audience. Monika hopes 2015 will be a better and more entertaining year for all of us!