"It makes me tingle knowing I could get caught"
With the rise of porn in India, more people are engaging in sexual fetishes that are deemed ‘taboo’.
There is a prominent stigma attached to any element of sex because it’s unfairly associated with shame and dishonour.
These labels mean that any discussions around intimacy are shunned and especially if it comes to specific sex acts or ‘weird’ urges.
However, fetishes and kinks are normal and these sexual desires are felt by millions within India – both male and female.
These sexual fetishes need to be acknowledged so more people feel that they can be open when pursuing relationships.
Especially when it comes to the South Asian community, in this case, Indians, who immerse themselves in a wide range of fantasies.
Fetishes are different from other sex acts because they are specific ways a person gets turned on. In some cases, they are the only method one can feel ‘excited’.
So, here are the most ‘taboo’ sexual fetishes found in India.
This type of fetish involves a man or woman being submissive to their partner whilst the other plays a dominant role.
It can increase levels of pleasure and allow couples to explore fantasies.
In 2016, according to an India Today Sex Survey, 41.8% of Indians practice some form of domination, submission or role-playing.
Within India however, this type of fetish involves more men being in the submissive role. Men enjoy bowing down to their wives or girlfriend and it turns them on to do so.
Rishma Adma*, a 35-year-old wife from Jalandhar tells of how this fetish is her husband’s only desire:
“When we first had sex, he said he would do anything for me. So, I tell him to do sexual acts and he gets turned on.
“Now, he likes more torture play and making me his dominatrix.”
“He gets so hard when I make him my little toy and hurt him by standing on him or slapping him.
“I’ve never been submissive, it’s always him who likes to get tied up and stuff. I just carry out because I like being in control also.”
Whether society plays a role in this fetish comes into question, given how some Indian women are repressed. However, in the bedroom, it seems an exciting kink.
Certain body parts on a person can attract others and in India, a lot of men are attracted to the armpit and naval areas of women.
It’s been noted that when women wear sleeveless clothes or have an exposed stomach, men find it desirable and get turned on.
When engaging in sex, the person may kiss or lick these areas and want to play around with them more. It’s similar to a foot fetish but is certainly more taboo given the body parts.
Babu Singh*, a factory worker from Punjab says this type of fetish is more common than one may think:
“Me and my co-workers always talk about this when a woman walks by and if we can see her arms or belly. It’s so sexy.
“I have a girlfriend and tell her to always wear short tops so I can see her naval. I love enjoying every part of her and having orgasms over her armpits.
“She enjoys it too and sometimes that’s all we need to do to have great sex. I pleasure her too but I am easily satisfied with this.”
It seems this type of fetish is very popular amongst Indian men and look at it as enjoying their partner’s body in its entirety.
Sexual fetishes cover a range of things and voyeurism is getting pleasure from watching others have sex or carry out certain acts.
A lot of people gain excitement from watching other people be intimate or even watching their own partner be with someone else.
Whilst this is based on a trusting relationship, couples who engage in that type of voyeurism agree that no emotions are attached to the sex. It’s merely a way of fulfilling urges.
Husband and wife, Amir and Jyoti Bajwa, say they watch each other with other people as it adds excitement to their marriage:
“I like seeing Jyoti with another man because watching her get pleasured sets me off. I’m a giver and even when we have sex, I want to make her cum over and over.
“So, seeing her reach orgasm, even by someone else, makes me complete.”
Jyoti adds to this:
“Amir has been with other women and I stand there and watch. It’s even better when it’s someone I know. It’s like you know you shouldn’t be enjoying it, which makes it even sexier.”
Sharing partners like this are forbidden in India because marriage is so sacred.
However, fetishes that others get pleasure from are not the same for everyone, but that does not make it wrong.
Whilst incest itself is an issue in South Asian countries, in this instance, we are referring to non-blood relatives such as brothers or sisters-in-law.
There is a high rate of people in India who love the idea of being intimate with someone who is not directly related to them but is still considered family.
This is still considered wrong by wider society but is heavily sexualised within India by both men and women.
Kangna Puri*, a 29-year-old from Goa tells DESIblitz about how this type of incest is much-loved:
“I’ve had fantasies about being with my brother-in-law after my sister got married. I know that’s wrong but I’ve felt the same about very distant uncles as well.
“And they don’t hide the fact that they think about it as well. The way they touch or talk to you makes it obvious.
“I wouldn’t think like this about my actual family, but I consider these people as friends. They’re not my blood.
“The fact that they are so close within the family though makes it much sexier and gets me so excited. I’m not afraid to say I’ve had fantasies about my sister’s husband.
“In Goa, a lot of people think like this. There are beach parties where you see family members kiss and stuff because it’s dark and no one can spot them.”
Like many sexual fetishes, the risk associated with this and the doubt around pursuing this type of urge is what makes it so desirable in the first place.
Perhaps one of the most unusual sexual fetishes found in India is wrestling.
Normally this is done between two people of the same sex, with more men getting turned on by two women wrestling than the other way around.
The premise that males enjoy here is the aggressive nature of women touching each other which mimics rough sex.
Although they are wrestling, they often wear skimpy outfits. However, this type of activity is only done in certain areas of India and behind closed doors where only a few can watch.
Other times, it is done in a more personal setting where a man will see his partner and friend wrestle, for example.
Niraj Khan*, a 38-year-old from Gujarat emphasise why this fetish is so loved:
“Two women together is sexy but two women wrestling and getting down and dirty is even sexier.”
“I normally go to sex workers to do this act in front of me but I know there are secret houses where men can also pay.
“I don’t touch the women or anything, I just sit there and enjoy. It gets me going and I can touch myself to it which the girls are aware of.
“It’s even naughtier when they get into it and start doing moves or laying on top of each other. People don’t talk about it in case the police find out.”
Whilst sexual wrestling may be a one-sided fetish, it shows the growing spectrum of sexual acts within India and the different levels of arousal people can get.
Sex with a Sex Worker
As Niraj previously mentioned, he asks sex workers to carry out certain acts for him.
Having intercourse with these same-sex workers is also a fetish within itself because of the risk involved.
It’s because of how stigmatised these workers are that makes it a popular sexual fetish amongst Indian people.
Even though men are more vocal about participating in this act, surprisingly even women get turned on by paying for sex.
Kia Bansal* from Punjab expresses her excitement about this fetish:
“Women are put down in this country by all types of men. So we can’t ever say we’ve paid for sex and the men also don’t want to get found out as sex workers.
“But it’s why I love paying for it. I can pay a man and he will do anything I want. I can tell him to sexually please me or I can abuse him. Either way, I get pleasure.
“I like controlling them and it leaves me satisfied for the rest of the day. I could get arrested which makes it even more exciting and it makes me tingle knowing I could get caught.”
Whilst there are a lot of sex workers in India, it’s almost disregarded in the country and is often denied by those within the industry.
However, it seems that this type of fetish is widespread more than people know.
Exhibitionism often refers to public nudity and exposing intimate parts of yourself in a crowded place.
Often, both men and women could expose in part or full certain parts of themselves to strangers, friends or in extreme cases, family.
This of course gives them sexual satisfaction but there is a level of compulsion to have others look at them in a ‘dirty’ way.
Of course, in India, this is heavily a taboo and an offense you can get arrested before. But taking part in exhibitionism in such a secretive way adds to its riskiness.
It also plays into the fact that in public, you cannot fully climax and instead have to repress your sexual urges when seeing someone partly or fully expose themselves.
Zeenab Kaled*, a sales worker from Punjab reveals how he takes part in this fetish:
“I’ve shown myself in front of women. It’s even better when they don’t notice and I take my c*ck out behind them.
“Other times, women have done the same and I see them in other shops show their legs to me or bottom. I like it so much.
“My friends tell me that women will show their stomachs to them in the sweet shops and they will get excited.
“I have done it a lot and nearly got caught by people walking past.”
Kiran Jugra*, a 34-year-old worker, also from Punjab, adds to this:
“Women cannot do a lot to get excited. Husbands don’t do anything and we cannot ask someone for sex like normal.
“I see men looking at me and might take my cardigan off. I’ve even taken my shalwar off before when it is quiet and men have walked past looking at me. I like it and it turns me on.”
Exhibitionists seem like one of the riskier sexual fetishes due to their public nudity and high chances of getting caught.
But, like other kinks on this list, that risk and adrenaline rush people get is what adds to the sexual urges the fetish brings them.
It’s insightful of what types of desires people have in India, but also why they are so taboo.
These acts cover a spectrum of sex and will take a lot of work for them to even be acknowledged in Indian society, let alone accepted and talked about.