"I used to be short-tempered but thinking about what I want to say before I say it helps me keep calm."
Do you lose your rag when you sit in traffic?
Does your blood boil when your partner does something you disagree with? Does your temper flare when your child doesn’t listen to you?
Anger is a normal healthy emotion but its important that you deal with it in a positive way!
When anger is uncontrolled, it can take its toll on your relationships, life and health.
Anger is a seed that is implanted within all of us. For some, anger is merely an emotion that resides within and displays itself in situations that we feel validate an angry response, such as a grave injustice or mistreatment of another human being.
For others however, anger is an emotion that takes over thoughts, feelings and relationships. It manifests like a tornado that causes utter destruction.
It’s a negative emotion that can rip loved ones apart. Anger is such a powerful emotion that the person feeling the anger themselves cannot control it once they have given it such power.
So how can you tame your temper? DESIblitz has 10 useful tips on how you can control your anger better:
1. Take Time Out
You would think that timeout is just for kids. Wrong! Adults need it as much as children do.
Take time out for some peace and quiet. Give yourself short breaks during the times of day that are most stressful for you.
Having a break may help you deal with a stressful situation better when it occurs.
2. Think before you speak
It’s easy to say things out of anger only to find that you didn’t mean them but by then the emotional damage is done.
Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before you say anything and allow others to do the same. Simran says: “I used to be short-tempered. But thinking about what I want to say before I say it helps me keep calm.”
3. Get some exercise
Physical activity is great for reducing stress and tension levels that can cause anger and help you feel more relaxed about a situation.
If you feel your anger coming on, go for a brisk walk, or a run or simply just spend some time doing an activity you enjoy.
4. Identify Solutions
Try to dwell on the problem and focus your energy on working out a solution to the problem. Be practical before you allow your emotions to take control.
If you become angry it may in fact make the situation worse and cause a delay in finding a resolution.
5. Express Your Anger When You’re Calm
Wait until you are thinking clearly before expressing how you feel in a non-judgemental, non-confrontational way. State your feelings and concerns clearly and calmly without hurting others and you will find that you will be listened to by the other party.
6. Don’t Hold a Grudge
If you allow your feelings of anger to crowd your positive feelings you may find yourself swallowed up in your own bitterness or sense of injustice. You may do or say things that you later regret.
If you can learn to forgive, you can release the negative emotion and learn from the situation.
Remember, forgiveness is a powerful tool. Vikram says: “Life is too short to hold grudges, sometimes we just have to let go!”
7. Use Humour
Lighten up and look at a situation from another point of view. Does life have to always be so serious?
Using humour can help you face a tough situation and lets you see whether you are setting your expectations too high.
8. Use ‘I’ Statements
Avoid being critical and blaming others. Be respectful and specific. Instead of saying: “You never wash the dishes,” you could say: “I would appreciate it if you would help me with the dishes once in a while.”
9. Practice Relaxation
Practice deep breathing exercises so that you can utilise them when you feel angry to help you calm down.
You may find listening to music will help you relax or better still you could regularly practise yoga and meditation to keep your mind calm.
10. Get Help
Learning to control anger can be challenging. Consider getting professional help if your anger seems out of control and causing you to do things you regret or hurt the ones you love.
Before you end up losing relationships seek help. There are many therapies such as Hypnotherapy, Counselling and CBT that can help a person control their anger.
Everyone has a physical reaction to anger but it doesn’t have to be a problem. Its important to be aware of what your body is telling you and take necessary steps to calm yourself down.
You can control your anger and more importantly, you have a responsibility to do so.
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