“The body has a tendency to go on ‘save mode’."
For some Brits, the colder months can have an impact on libido and, therefore, sex lives.
Seasonal dips in sex drive are common in winter, according to licensed sexologist and relationship therapist Sofie Roos, who is also an author at Passionerad.
She shared: “While it’s not the case for everyone, many people experience a decreased sex drive during the cold months and find it problematic, especially for the relationship.
“And this is not only anecdotal – there’s actually a medical review done on males on the topic published in the National Library of Medicine that concluded that we actually do have less sex drive during the dark and cold months.”
Explaining that the winter decline is rarely caused by one factor, Roos said:
“First off, the lack of sunlight, especially in the north, makes people less energised and affects our hormones, which makes us more tired, and… less interested in sex.
“The body has a tendency to go on ‘save mode’ when it’s dark and cold, which shows by many wanting to snuggle up on the sofa rather than initiate passion.”
She added that the festive period often increases stress, as it “often leads to deadlines at work, logistic problems, tons of places to be at and economic stress”.
Roos continued: “Sex drive is very sensitive towards stress, as it makes us de-prioritise everything that’s not crucial for survival until we have tackled what stresses us.
“And lastly – hectic periods make us lose each other in the relationship as it comes so much in between, so the holidays, which should be a time for love and getting closer, paradoxically slip us apart because of all the hustle.
“And less intimacy outside of bed also leads to less intimacy in bed.”
Rebuilding intimacy starts with a mental reset.
Roos elaborated: “The first thing you must do is to change [your] mindset.
“During summer, the lust often comes quite by itself, but during the winter, you need to work more for it – so prepare to put in some more time and energy into ‘maintaining’ your sex life.”
She suggested creating intimacy outside the bedroom.
“Create small moments of intimacy.
“Sex doesn’t need to start in bed, but can be initiated during the day with a text message, a long hug and a passionate kiss before leaving for work, or by just holding hands and having more eye contact. These small acts of physical love build lust.”
Reducing pressure is also key:
“Instead of thinking that you should have sex, focus on just being close.
“That tends to make the pressure go out the door, which gives room for spontaneous sex.”
For couples under heavy strain, she said scheduling sex can help. Physical activity also plays a role.
“Try to take walks when it’s sunny outside, do some exercise, or just leave home for some hobbies. That gives energy, which also boosts lust!”
She added: “And last but not least, talk about how you’re feeling. By opening up with your feelings, needs and boundaries, lots of the anxiety and pressure go away.
“This openness helps to relax, something that’s a big ingredient in a high desire!”
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