Impact of Porn on Young British Asians

With the advent of the Internet, pornography is definitely more easily available than it was in the 70’s in the UK; when the top shelf of a newsagent is where you saw it most.

Now, sexual images and videos are all part of the porn consumed by young men, and women too, and a lot of it is very extreme and of a hardcore nature.

For young British Asians and South Asians, it’s likely to be no different, because it’s a habit that’s growing rapidly.

From amateur videos, professional productions to dedicated Indian porn sites, all types of porn is readily available today.

Learning about sex by earlier British Asian generations was not by instant availability of sex videos or images of nude women and men having sex.

A lot of it was by discovery, especially for arranged marriages, and learning to develop and progressively enjoy a sexual life which also encompassed love.

Today, porn seems to be the common way most young British Asians are learning about sex.

Sadly, porn does not reflect how society behaves and how relationships work. It focuses only on one thing – sex.

Although porn can have some uses in sex education and therapy, it is actually bad for sexual relationships.

So, why is it so bad?

Respected sex journalist, Michael Castleman M.A. says:

“The Internet now contains billions of pages of porn, much of it free. Sheer volume persuades many viewers that porn sex is real sex.

“Pornography is like the chase scenes in action movies—exciting and fun to watch, but not the way to drive.”

Therefore, many young people misconceive that porn depicts sex as ‘it should be done’.

For many young British Asians, porn can represent the first kind of sex they really come across and this can impact them many ways sexually.

How Porn is Viewed Differently

Sexual triggers in men and women are different, and porn is consumed differently too.

Young men tend to watch porn for visual images which turn them on quickly. Incredible looking women loving sex is a huge aspect of the porn watched.

Whereas, young women, prefer more mind based images and fantasies, which often means preference of more appealing and stimulating porn scenes.

One key impact of porn is that many men do not see it as a way of cheating on their partner, whereas, women can feel very insecure and unwanted, if their partner watches porn.

Socially, porn is seen as the prime educator of sex for young people.

Samir, aged 19, says:

“Watching porn was the only way I found out about sex. Lessons at school did not show or tell us anything like what you see in videos, especially, amateur ones shot on phones.”

A survey of 8,000 girls and women in India, revealed 49% learnt about sex from watching porn videos (India.com. June 25, 2014).

In India, the way porn is consumed differs too.

An ABP Live survey (July 24, 2014) says, 80% of college students in India watch porn, 40% watch rape porn, and very disturbingly, 76% said that watching rape porn leads to the desire to rape a woman.

It’s also estimated about 30% of porn viewers in India are women and they are watching more porn than anyone else in the world except the Brazilians.

Masturbation and Addiction

Porn is frequently used as a masturbation aid.

With so many young men and women watching porn, and getting addicted to it, the frequency of masturbation can increase to levels beyond control.

Young men have been known to be so addicted, that some masturbate over seven times a day watching porn.

In a survey of 400 students in India, 70% of boys began watching porn at age 10, 93% of boys said that porn was addictive as drugs and 86% said that porn led to sexual activity.
(Times of India, July 25, 2015).

Gaz, aged 17, says:

“I watch porn everyday and I don’t think it does me any harm, and so do my mates. It’s like you got to watch it to see something new.”

Sanjay, aged 16, says:

“Porn is the easiest thing to get hold of on your phones nowadays. And you can get any type you want. From the most nasty stuff to even Asian babes doing it.

“Kids as young as ten are watching it. And because it’s not right, the demand for it is huge.”

Porn is being shared on phones by young people even in a school’s playground and controlling it is a problem.

With many Asian parents giving smartphones to young children, it is important to know what their are doing or viewing on their phones. Awareness and education is key.

In the UK, 10% of 12 -13 year olds fear they are addicted to porn. 12% of 12-13 year olds admitted to participating in a sexually explicit video. (BBC News, March 31, 2015).

A year’s survey found that 75% of pre-university students in rural areas of India were addicted to porn (The Indian Express, February 17, 2013).

Simulating Porn

With South Asian culture being predominantly male dominated and the role of women traditionally seen as secondary, the sexual expectations from young British Asian men of young women can be very easily elevated by porn.

The thrill of watching and seeing female pornstars openly engaging and doing anything the man wants, can lead to harmful imagination of how sex must be with real partners.

Re-enacting porn acts such as oral and anal sex which they have seen, is something they assume partners will have no issue with, because they don’t in porn.

These men can then be easily dismissive of young British Asian women who have no or little sexual experience or understanding of porn based sex.

Women actually need plenty of foreplay and a sensual build-up to result in amazing sex and this is something porn does not portray.

Jas, aged 18, says:

“I’ve been with a few Asian girls and find that they just let me do what I want. They are not confident to try things with me like you see in porn.”

Conversely, Young British Asian women watching porn can develop expectations of men, after seeing very well endowed men who can have sex for a long time with no issues.

Not realising that such men for porn are especially selected for their ’large’ penises and use of erection enhancing drugs are the norm to ‘keep going’.

For most men, natural erections require relaxation and a playful arousing touch, all over.

Performance Anxieties

With their minds sensitised to porn action, many British Asian men can develop complexes about the size of their manhood, erections and performance anxieties too e.g. premature ejaculation.

They can often subliminally compare themselves to what they see, impacting their own abilities to have real satisfying sex.

Similarly, young British Asians can develop low self esteem and complexes because they are not ‘good enough’ to satisfy their partner’s needs.

Young women may expect their man to give them sex as depicted in porn, which can often be frantic and rough, therefore, leading to non-satisfaction, if their partner is unaware.

Seema, aged 21, says:

“After watching porn a lot, I often think about having sex like they show it. The women look really into it and love the pace. But in reality I’ve never had anything like it.”

Regular porn viewing can result in not enjoying real sex or having an orgasm without watching it.

Body Image

People come in all shapes and sizes but in porn, they mostly look ‘perfect’ – slim women with very shapely boobs and rears and chiseled men with muscles and being largely endowed.

British Asians have their roots from South Asia. So, lots is inherited through their genes. Such as body shape, bodily hair, facial hair, and skin and weight issues.

So, the impact of porn can lead to insecurities for young people about their body image because of not looking like porn actors.

Nikki, aged 22, says:

“Whenever I’ve seen porn the women look really amazing and the sex too, and it does make you think whether men will like you because you don’t have a body like them.”

Men can feel inferior due to not being physically apt or fit to meet the needs of a woman who has expectations.

Dalbir, aged 21, says:

“When you see men in porn, they look well built and the women want them non-stop. They can do everything the women need. It does make you want to be good as them.”

No Real Relationships

You never see relationships in porn. Courting, dating and doing normal things as couples are rarely shown. It leads to sex quickly or just sex clips.

So, young British Asians who have not had many dates or courted but watch a lot of porn can expect sex very quickly in a relationship.

When comparing men with women, most women are not ‘ready’ for sex without some warm up kissing, hugging, touching and playful sensuality.

Many surveys reveal that what women most dislike about the way men make love, is that men rush into wanting sex too quickly.

Meena, aged 22, says:

“I’ve found that on some dates, men expect sex even on the first date, which can be off-putting because you feel they are only interested in sex and not you.”

Martin Daubney, the man behind the Porn on the Brain documentary for Channel 4, says:

“With porn, I urge teenagers to question what they see, rather than accepting it as true. Not all men have penises like draught excluders. You don’t have to shave yourself bald: not everybody likes it like that. If you see something in porn and you want to try it in the real world – always ask first. And if the person says no, then no always means no.”

The impact of porn on young British Asians is not to be taken lightly because as generations use smartphone technology as part of everyday life, porn too will become a bigger part of that lifestyle.

This means communication and education to help young people understand its dangers is of paramount importance, and acknowledging that it is an issue, as highlighted, is the first step towards more open discussion.