“People cushion because of insecurity and the fear of being alone."
Dating in 2026 has brought a growing list of terms for questionable relationship behaviours, and cushioning is a toxic trend gaining attention.
The dating trend describes people who are in a relationship while keeping potential romantic partners on standby.
These “backup” options can include exes, friends or new connections who could become a partner if the current relationship ends.
While the term may be new to some daters, the behaviour itself is far from it.
Cushioning essentially means preparing for a relationship breakdown before it happens by maintaining alternative romantic options.
April Davis, Founder, Dating Coach, and Matchmaker of LUMA Luxury Matchmaking, explained:
“Cushioning is when one partner keeps a roster of ‘backup’ options should the relationship end.
“They’re technically in a relationship, but they’re still flirting with other people, entertaining other possible romantic connections, or keeping in contact with their ex.
“It’s definitely adjacent to micro-cheating.”
The term draws on the idea of “cushioning” a fall, except the emotional impact can fall on the person being kept in the relationship.
Rather than fully investing in their current partner, someone who cushions maintains connections that could provide reassurance, attention or a new relationship if their current one fails.
According to Davis, fear and insecurity can play a significant role in why someone behaves this way:
“People cushion because of insecurity and the fear of being alone.
“Some people are afraid to fully invest in one relationship and keep other options waiting on the sidelines in case something goes wrong.”
This can create an uncomfortable contradiction.
Someone may believe they are protecting themselves from heartbreak, while their behaviour could ultimately undermine the relationship they are trying to preserve.
Cushioning may also be connected to the culture created by dating apps, where potential partners can appear to be endlessly available.
Davis said: “Dating apps have convinced us that there’s always a better option just one swipe away, so it’s really no surprise.”
For some people, cushioning can therefore become a way of avoiding the uncertainty that comes with being single. Keeping someone else interested can provide reassurance that there will be another relationship to move into if the current one ends.
However, this can also overlap with another familiar dating pattern: moving from one relationship straight into another.
Davis stated: “Cushioning can be a soft exit, where they aren’t ready to end the relationship until they have something else lined up.”
This approach can leave the existing partner unaware that the relationship is effectively being treated as temporary. It can also prevent honest conversations about whether the relationship is still working.
Highlighting signs of cushioning, Davis said:
“One of the biggest signs your partner might be cushioning you is secrecy.”
“Maybe they’re constantly texting someone and deleting the messages.
“They might be snapping someone daily but gaslighting you when you ask why they have a 100-day streak. They pretend they’re not in contact with their ex anymore, but you catch them reaching out to vent after arguments.”
However, having friends or maintaining contact with an ex does not automatically mean someone is cushioning. The key issue is whether romantic possibilities are deliberately being maintained behind a partner’s back.
Clear boundaries and honest communication can therefore make it easier to distinguish harmless friendships from behaviour that threatens trust.
