integration has resulted in the loss of traditions
From the early 1960’s to the early 1990’s, South-Asians developed a close-knit community in the UK. Further to leaving their homeland to seek a new life in a white dominated country, holding onto their traditions, values and culture gave them a way to retain their links back to their homeland and origin.
It can be said that most of the South Asians originally coming to the UK did not anticipate staying, and majority of them worked and sent money back home with the aim of returning.However, this never happened and the next generations known as ‘British Asians’ were born, who began to accept the UK as their home and country.
The newer generations found it easier to adapt to the UK compared to the immigrants. The offspring attended British schools and universities, educated themselves and secured jobs in different industries compared to those originally resulting in work.
The settling of South Asians in the UK saw the transition from a working class way of life to a more integrated, professional and business orientated lifestyle.
This integration has resulted in the loss of traditions. Many of the traditions followed by South Asians are no longer followed due to British Asians adopting more Western ways in order to develop an identity for themselves. Here are some examples from many.
Names
You will find that many British Asians have English names like Steven, Peter, David, Anne, Sheila etc. Some are alternative names for their real name, others are actually their real name.
So is this practice just a way to blend more in the Western culture? Does it make pronunciations of their names easier for those who do not speak South Asian languages? Surely, a name is the basis of your identity and therefore, keeping an authentic name provides a definition of your cultural origin.
Mother Tongue
Many children can only speak English and not a word of their own mother tongue. This causes problems if the grandparents reside in the same household, producing a language barrier between the two generations.
So do parents no longer value their mother tongue as important like their parents? Will English dominate in Brit-Asian households? Many feel that this is the a major loss to the communities once proud of their language.
Arranged Marriages
Arranged marriages are decreasing and love marriages are increasing. Couples are even living together much more. The concept of finding your own and marrying them is now more acceptable than in the past.
The days of the ‘vichola’ (the middle person who arranged family meetings between suitable matches) are diminishing because many think it is not right for somebody else to find you a partner and tell you who to marry. The fact that many British Asians prefer to find there own is because they want to know the person prior to marriage or commitment.
The general expectation of most South Asian parents is for their child to seek and marry a person from the same background i.e. culture, religion and even caste. However, this has changed with interracial marriages becoming increasingly common and the tradition of staying within the boundaries no longer being followed.
Traditional families see this change as a ‘bad thing’ and feel that only parents can find suitable matches. They cannot accept that young Brit-Asians prefer a relationship before marriage and do not want to get married how their parents did – not see the groom or bride until the day of the wedding.
Is this modernisation of relationships a good thing? Many feel that because families are not involved in arranging marriages, it is a possible reason for so many divorces amongst British Asians.
Cooking and Meals
For South Asians cooking and meals are a huge part of their lifestyle. However, the tradition of cooking freshly every day, eating ethnic foods often and encouraging youngsters to learn the basics of cooking ethnic food for their future lives has began to erode.
There is a major rise in British Asian girls especially, who now cannot or even will not cook some of the typical Desi dishes or make chappatis, rice etc. This was once a major requirement of a girl, especially for marriage. The tradition of not seeing men in the kitchen has also changed, men are playing a more active role in the kitchen and domestically, compared to the past.
Western foods are being eaten more in British Asian households. For example, Pizzas, Pasta, Chips, Burgers etc. Eating out and take-aways are also part of this new lifestyle. Some would now question the validity of which is healthier – traditional or newer diets?
Is the move from traditional cooking and foods towards more ‘quick’ food substitutes suited to British Asians? Have people just become more lazy or too busy to cook proper home made Desi food? A tradition once enjoyed by so many seems to have now lost its appeal.
Newborn Names
A tradition exists for naming a newborn baby. A letter is usually given by a priest at a local place of worship, as the first letter to be used for the name. This is like blessing and good luck for the child. But today many do not consider this option and name the child themselves.
Wedding Traditions
Many bridal and wedding traditions have now been forgotten or ‘modernised.’ For example:
The bride not visiting the groom’s house prior to marriage was a tradition once followed. Today, however, relationships often include the interaction of both parties with respective families before the wedding.- For Punjabi weddings, the groom wears a ‘Sehra’ (veil), which is tied to the turban. It’s aim is to protect him from the evil eye. Not all grooms today wear it.
- The bride to be, use to remain in her old clothes for one or more days before the wedding. She would sit in front of four divas lit before her in these clothes, for a period of time. Considered to be essential, this tradition is seldom followed today.
- Red has always been the traditional bridal colour for a wedding because it signifies the status of a new bride. These days colour is not a issue, people want to actually defer away from the traditional red and class it as being “boring” and want to be different.
- The tradition of the bride’s last meal at her wedding is highly valued. However, for some it is less important today.
Pregnancy
Pregnancy has many traditions associated with it. For example, Young Asian pregnant women are not to go out much to avoid so people’s evil eye (‘nazar’) and, after birth, the mother and child are not allowed out of the house for a certain number of days. Many people treat these myths today.
So are British Asians integrating too far into the Western culture? Has the integration and new ways damaged and destroyed the traditions upheld by previous generations despite where they were in the world? Do you think traditions are important to you? If so, why? What makes some traditions more important than others? Tell us what you think.
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It is sad to see we are losing a lot from our elders.
I agree we have lost a lot of these traditions and it is getting worse.
As a british asian myself i think we should always remember our mother tongue and teach punjabi, hindi, urdu, etc to our children to help them learn more about their roots, great article.
I added your article to my bookmarks. And i’ll read your articles more often!
It was a very interesting post thanks for writing it!
Very enjoyed this! Well done!
First of all I’m from NYC been here since I was 7 yrs. I have seen a woman at the gurdwara talking to her two sons in english asking them to eat some rotis, but the problem was that she sounded like just got off the boat not too long ago and the kids were I guess born here. So for her to talk to her kids in english and the kids repling back in english in a gurdwara to me is just wrong. Maybe she was trying to improve her english? it could be or she was trying to show off to others that she can speak english or her kids can just to look KOOL.
I have also have seen at the same gurdwara two little girls maybe around 3or 4 years old talking to each other in punjabi and they looked sooooo cute talking and laughting, fyi they both were born here. I think if kids from spanish and other back ground can speak their mother tongue, then what the f#@k is so hard for indian kids to learn their mother tongue.
It does start at home with parents and grandparents. I know when I went through a faze where I was not proud to be sikh or wanted to speak punjabi. My mother would ask me a question in punjabi and I would answer it in english. I did not want to speak punjabi at all. Then in 1999 I went back to india for the first time for the whole summer, I realized that you get so much love over there and I learned to speak punjabi also.
I also want to say that we indians should not give our kids american or british names. At the same gurdwara there is a little boy around 5 who’s name is Jasondeep, again Jason is not indian in any way. Also by putting deep or preet or pal at the end does not make it better. I heard from someone that there is a kid in the UK named Chrispal, that’s just stupid, Chris is a short name for Jesus Christ.
Also I got married this past december in india and I have to say that it was sooooooo much fun and would love to get married again but my parents won’t let me, so I guess I have to wait till my brother or cousins get married. The weddings in the US or outside of india last like one day maybe two days (saturday and sunday) but in india my wedding was like for 7 days, it was 7days of parties and hanging out and we did all the traditional things. I have to say that every indan should get married back home. The wedding halls are just like here. I love indian food but I do love to eat out also. Again it’s up to the parents to teach their daughters how to cook and clean, it starts from when they are young, the parents need to take some off from making money and take their kids to india and teach some indian values.
Please do not forget your mother tongue and pass it on to your kids cause if we don’t than who will. What is the difference between us and the non indians than if we can’t talk to each other in our mother tongue explain to others where we’re from cause no matter american or english name you may give to your shelf for your kids you can still tell an indian from non-indian. Thanks
In truth, immediately i didn’t understand the essence. But after re-reading all at once it became clear. Lots is being lost but new is being approved too.
I guess the new generation don’t care about the old traditions, I believe these traditions are for a reason and we are forgetting them. It’s a shame as the newer generations will loose out, just because we live abroad we shouldn’t forget where we came from and what our background is. Parents should explain to kids more about the traditions and the reasons for them.
Interesting and informative.
As a British Asian female, i have to admit i don’t know my mother tongue (hindi), just a little. It is important to have a balance of East and West. Yes, we are modern but it is up to every individual to take the best of the two cultures. Tradition can be seen as backwards but i personally am modern but respect and value my heritage. So what if i don’t know my language. I haven’t been to India in over 10 years! I live on my own. I have been criticised by elders for not speaking hindi. Maybe that’s why i feel like going away from it but i also am fascinated by our rich culture. It is the elders who force it so we want nothing to do with it. Instead they should give us the freedom to choose.The biggest thing is that i find is there is no balance. I find that british asians are not marrying in the first place. I should know. Great article though. I agree with a lot of it.
sERiOUsLY!!!!!!!wE ARE LOSING OUR TRADITIONS…AND TO SOME PPL THIS ARTICLE PROBABLY BORED THEM,I CAN RELATE 2 THIS I WAS BORNN AND RAISED IN THE US,MY COUSINZ INDIAN BORN CAME HERE A FEW YEARS BAK..THEY HAVE BECOME MORE MODERN THAN ME…ITS PEOPLE LIKE THAT WHO ARE EMBARRASED TO SPEAK THEIR MOTHER TONGUE IN PUBLIC..WHEN THERES AMERICAN BORN CONFUSED DESIS WHO CAN DO IT MUCH BETTER!!!!THIS MAKE ME MAD!(save OuR cUlTuReS)
Hmm… good article. I see what you are saying and it is happening in all cultures.
Valuable thoughts. I read your topic with great interest and lots of good points. There are lots of things no longer followed especially at weddings.
Elders once made us do them but today society is think is too soft and because of this, we are losing those once very strong and applicable rules to desi society. It’s not good because in years to come a lot more will be lost if we do not hold on to it…….
I really like your article and I respect your efforts on a very good area of discussion. Good stuff.
I think its impossible to keep Asian traditions here in the UK.
We have to understand the fact that we are living in the UK, and the way of live is just so dramatically different.
Eventually the term “British Asian” will disappear, and we will become “British”.
To be honest the only way our values can be kept is by moving back to India/Pakistan/Bangladesh etc…
Or if you marry a person from abroad, who will then move here, and teach the traditions to their kids.
British born Asians, will speak to their children in English, and from that point the language is already lost. People going to religious temples will also eventually fade out…
The ONLY people who can keep our traditions alive is immigrants unfortunately.. and maybe Asian music.
I think we should see this as maybe Evolution… Obviously bad for our elders, but an opportunity for British borns?
But not everything is lost – our roots are still remain in our countries abroad – India etc..
This is a good article and was interesting to read.
Basically, I think we should never forget who we are, our roots, our language and most importantly our culture ,sadly which we are beginning to lose by mixing in with the British culture.
It is really important that our children are taught to be fluent in their mother toungue so they can communicate with their elders who are back home or living here in the UK, I am glad to say that my daughter who is 5yrs old is fluent in Punjabi aswell as in English and that is something to e proud of, its a shame to see todays youngesters who have no knowledge of their roots/traditions/values or mother tongue but all they know is about the western culture and are adapting to that, sadly parents are playing a big role in letting them do as they please.
Someone directed me to this website after listening to a debate on an asian radio stationbut it is not what i expected.
This article as been beautifully writen but unfortunatley its just a biased opinion and not researched very well.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions but i think a few (def 1) is borderline rascism and we should stop and think before we publically announce what we think.
Not too sure about the borderline racism! I think that is ridiculous! Lol Like you said everybody is entitled to their opinion, but for you to actually say that this article is racist is quite funny and a bit strong.
Being racist is where you are prejudice or nasty to another race/colour, thinking your colour and race is superior to others. Obviously there is no mention about anybody’s race or colour.
It the article gives a good overview and probably is touching the tip of the iceberg when it comes to traditions that are changing through the years.
I am a british asian myself , who is modern in some respects but traditional in others, but there are certain aspects of our culture that we are losing and I think many people seem to agree on this looking at what others are saying here.
Couldn’t agree more. Personally i still live a desi life and im U.K born i eat roti everyday (love it!) and speak punjabi/hindi in my household to my mother and im only 21! if i can do it i can’t see why other people can’t do it.I blame the parents to be honest they should keep it regimented on the fact that they are indian not goreh or kaleh. Nowadays indians try acting like other people in this case “kaleh”. I think in the next 20-30 odd years its going to get so bad that people forget what there background stands at.