"I think it is nice if the guy pays for the date because we are accustomed to it. It’s normal!"
It’s common knowledge that first dates— even if you’ve dated before can often leave people feeling bewildered and unaware of what to do.
It’s all about placing yourself in the right clothes, right location and most importantly the right you!
The last thing you want is anxiety taking over that amiable personality.
So first and foremost let’s begin with a run through of all the things to avoid and what you should be putting all your effort into.
DO Dress Appropriately
Don’t be disastrously overdressed or shamefully underdressed. When deciding what to do on a first date, or even if it is a surprise just make sure you have a vague idea of what outfit will be suitable.
Girls, don’t exploit yourself to every man in sight; demure dresses and pencil skirts go a long way on a first dinner date. Guys, you can never go wrong with a shirt and jeans that fit well — just don’t forget the belt!
DO Take Enough Money
We’re in the modern era now and even though it’s chivalrous for a guy to delve into the depths of his wallet to pay for everything it’s not always the case.
Girls, you don’t want him to think you’re a gold-digger — but that money should be kept aside for any extras that you can contribute to towards your first date. Not only does this assert the guy of your independence, it also has him falling for you as a consequence!
Guys, tradition is always a winner when it comes to romance. Even though we are living in the 21st century there is nothing like a bit of old school romance to keep everyone happy. Let your date know how special she is by paying for dinner or an evening of sipping on cocktails.
DO Employ Manners and Etiquette
It is essential that you use your manners during your date. This applies to both sexes – certain mannerisms can put people off. Of course there are the please’s and thank you’s, but body language is key to a successful date.
No slouching, snoozing, avoidance of eye contact or talking with big mouthfuls. Do put your phone on silent or switch it even off if you can.
DO Be Yourself
First dates are a fundamental part of getting to know one another. Yes you’re attracted to one another but there is no point going on a string of dates if you’re only able to discuss one another’s body features!
Engaging in conversation is important, don’t sweat buckets just to maintain conversation but you should also not be using interjections such as ‘hmm’ or ‘yes’ continuously. Being yourself can often be easier said than done; you don’t want to scare them off with wild stories, so find a balance.
DON’T Talk About Ex’s
This is definitely a big NO. Surely there will be time to talk about one another’s past but the first date is not the time or place for any sort of discussion. This subject often leads into a deep conversation and awkward silence to follow.
DON’T Talk About Marriage
Some people have their lives mapped out in their own minds but not everybody is the same. While marriage may be on the cards for some, others may not have even approached the thought of being at that stage in their lives.
First dates are baby steps to a relationship – build strong foundations before shaking things up with the prospect of a wedding!
DON’T Get Drunk
Alcohol can help calm nerves and ease the body tension. However, this is not a time to drink excessive amounts of alcohol to make you forget all the people you kissed a couple of nights ago. This is a first date – remembering most things is vital as it will show genuine interest in one another. Don’t make a fool of yourself!
DON’T Embrace the Prolonged Silence.
Silence can be good in small amounts but don’t think of it as a safe zone. Once the silence is prolonged it can cause awkwardness and is often hard to come back from.
DON’T Talk Too Much
It’s difficult to judge when you’re talking more than your date can logically process and understand. You’re not in a rush so slow things down a bit. If you struggle, look for signs of yawning or bewilderment – this will indicate whether or not your date can keep up with you.
Young student Harpreet says: “It can be difficult to portray the real you as you’re worried about what the other person might think. I think it is nice if the guy pays for the date because we are accustomed to it. It’s normal!”
Rehan adds: “I went on a date once and she brought the marriage subject up. I didn’t know what to say. It made things a bit awkward for me after and I realised that we were on different pages. I’d expect to be talking about those things well into a relationship.”
It can be a difficult task to judge the level of intimacy and engagement with your date. You both know it’s not a one-year but why should you refrain from being affectionate towards someone you really like?
The question is how much is too much on a first date? Raja admits:
“I think if I really liked the girl then I would want to kiss her. But I also think about how society would see it – it may be wrong for a girl to kiss on a first date.”
The first date could be the only date you need to know that they are the one, or it could be the only date you need to know that it’s not for you.
But if your date does tick all of those imaginary boxes then the first formal acquaintance is where you need to make your mark. Remember, unlike those films where we replay the first date scene over and over again, we only have one shot, one date to make the best impression.